I just want to write something happy tonight. My last few posts have focused on the somewhat drearier side of existence. I’m ready for happy. I’m usally ready for happy. I also have all my Christmas decorations up and my house is clean. I also have only two more days to work this week. Well, that’s not really true, I get pulled out of the classroom for some district work on Friday and after dealing with tons of elementary school kids all day everyday, going to adult meetings is like taking the day off.
There’s a warm fire burning in my woodstove. The lights on the tree, the ledge and the window mirror in my entry way look absolutely inviting. It isn’t a monstrous palace I live in, but it is warm and cozy and inviting most of the time. It is especially so at Christmas.
I mentioned earlier in one of my posts either here or on my other blog at http://cabsplace.wordpress.com that I just wasn’t feeling the Christmas spirit. I wasn’t. I haven’t been. It took a while to ignite.
First, there was the haggling (in my mind) about whether or not to go with a fake tree this year. I’m such a real tree lover (not hugger, lover). I was concerned that getting a fake tree would be a disappointment to the kids. There are some real valid reasons for wanting a fake tree though. One is that the cost over time is something I really need to consider. Throwing $30-$60 away on a tree that’s going to be dead by Christmas every year is not a good thing. I also have a wood stove and the tree and the wood stove are not that far apart. Remember, my palace is small. Very, very small. So tree and woodstove in the same room equals insurance claim waiting to happen…hmmmm.
I also live right in the middle of Christmas tree land. Getting a permit and going out to the woods to cut my own tree is not a real tough thing to do. I could do it. However, cancel out another day out of my life that I desperately need to use to do laundry and cleaning. I’d be doing it alone or with only my youngest which is fine, but again, it means something else vital doesn’t get done. The worst part is getting the thing up on top of my 4×4 alone. I could do everything else, but that might stymie me. I usually enjoy going out in the woods and making a day of it with friends, building a big fire and hanging out after the trees are found…but again…not many couples enjoy having a single 5th wheel around and this year my single friends made other arrangements. I just opted for the easy way out this year.
I’m glad I did.
I bought a $68 special at Wal-Mart. After three attempts back and forth from Wally World, I had the thing up and lit. And there it sat…for nearly a week. I just dreaded the idea of going out and pulling down the decorations from the rafters in the garage. I don’t know why. Each day after school, I’d tell myself, toinght we’re going to do this. Then my energy to do it would just evaporate. Finally, I just gave my two older girls control of it. So, Sunday evening they set about decorating the tree while I prepared dinner. I deliberately stayed out of it. I wanted it to be their thing. They did their thing and it is beautiful!
It looks like a decorator tree! Well, almost. I definitely need to work on getting some more of those specialty ornaments, but with the money I’ll save next year on buying a tree that should be no problem. Next year.
This year, I want to add one new thing to the outside light display. I only have lights across the front of my house and a rope light up the walk. Pretty boring. But, hey, like I’ve said all over the place here, it’s been tight. Things are getting better. I think this year I might wait till the day after Christms (since I won’t have any kids) and go to the stores and get a few things for the outside of the house…and maybe for the inside too. But not too much, just a few things. In a few years of behaving like this I”ll have more Christmas than I could have imagined.
Anyway, I was pondering all this last night and feeling really at peace with the world. It is hard not to feel this way when your kids aren’t squabbling, the Christmas tree looks spectacular, the kids are fed and the dishes are done and the house is clean. There was a warm fire in the woodstove and all was very well in my world. It was so nice, that after I sent the younger two to bed, I slipped into my p.j.’s, poured a glass of my favorite Reisling and curled up on the couch to enjoy the ambiance. Before I knew it, I’d dozed off. I awakened only momentarily when my two oldest girls entered after their holiday dinner theatre rehearsal. I said a few groggy, loving words to them, they headed to bed themselves and I added a couple of logs to the fire.
I think I woke up about midnight and headed to bed after throwing the last few logs on the fire for the night. The house is lovely, clean, cozy and warm. My kids are fed and clothed. We have a roof over our heads and we have Christmas in our hearts as well as our home. It could be a whole lot worse than this that’s for sure. And, even though, I really have only one more week till my kids vanish for the Big Holiday, I’m going to enjoy every minute of it with them…and I’ll even enjoy the time without them too (I know, blasphemous thing to say, but, remember, I’m one who is with kids 24/7. It’s nice to be alone after that sometimes).
As long as the decorations are up, the fire is crackling warm and I can pour a glass of Reisling, life is good. Not perfect, but still very, very good.