Sucks to Be Single in Over 40 Land

It sucks to be single in Over 40 Land.  Here’s why:

I don’t know how to change the light fixtures.

I can’t get the rest of the leaves blown and bagged and I’d rather be blowing and bagging other things and I can’t do that either. (Gads did I actually just write that?)

I had to hang my outside Christmas lights all by myself.  I’d like to have somebody else hanging my lights and turning them on!  (Did I just write that too?) 

I have to keep the fire burning…alone…oh wait, I already did that before anyway.  And, wait, what fire are we talking about because there’s one fire that’s completely non-existent these days. 

I have to clean out the fireplace…alone…oh wait, I already did that myself before too.

I have no one to fight with over the covers at night.

I have no one to keep me warm at night except my kids and they kick me and flail.

I have no one to criticize the way I decorated the tree. 

I have to attend all the kids’ events alone and act like I’m okay with it.  I was okay with it…at first…I am now getting sick of it. 

I hate going to Christmas parties by myself.  Hmmm, maybe I should hire an escort…like that’s EVER going to happen!  I can’t even hire a housekeeper anymore or lawn maintenance.  Gasp! 

I really don’t like sitting in my hot tub alone, although, I do it on occasion.

I have no one to call bullsh*t on me when I’m completely out to lunch.  Well, okay, my kids do this occasionally, but c’mon, they’re my kids.

I don’t have anyone who will show me how to use the chainsaw, pour cement for the front walks and help me  rebuild the destroyed inground sprinkler system.  (How it got destroyed is topic of another blog many years from now.) Looks like I’ll be Googling how to pour a cement walkway and doing it myself.  I do everything myself.

I have no one to go grocery shopping with who will pack out the huge dog food bag so I either do it myself or call for help.  I hate that.  I’m convinced Mr. Right will not appear while I’m wandering the aisles at the local grocery store.  Even if he did, what’s he going to do, chase me down, get my license plate number and then call me?  Get real!

I have no one to check that dark stain on the driveway under my car and tell me something is up AGAIN with my car. And, of course, I have no one to fix it.  

I have no one to sit nicely and encouragingly through my attempts at cooking while I try to get better.  My kids DO NOT help with that.  When they are gone, well, it’s just no fun cooking a meal for one.  However, it can sometimes be fun drinking a bottle of wine for two all by yourself.  A small bottle…

I have no one to dream with.

I have no one to play with…and…you know what I mean…

It’s just me these days.  And, sometimes, quite frankly, it just sucks.

Not always though.  Next post might be about all the things I really like about being alone.

19 thoughts on “Sucks to Be Single in Over 40 Land

    1. LOL! Sandy,
      You are definitely right. But no matter how good Prince Charming is, isn’t there always a downside somewhere.
      The idea would be to find a friend with as many of the positives and as few of the negatives as possible.
      Thanks for the great comment.
      Cat

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  1. I wish you were more okay with being alone. It’s really not all that bad. Even cooking alone is okay. In fact, there are so many pluses to it – no one tries to gag down your recipe that failed. And I cook alone all the time. I may have an adult daughter living with me, but she doesn’t eat my food. I cook for myself. I look at it this way – it’s practice and by the time I meet someone, I’ll be the best cook EVER.

    And, hon, you are *way stronger* than you think. You can do all those things alone. You just have to accept that you are single now – and that’s a good thing. And so what if you have to hire someone to do the hard work. He could be – or his friend is – Mr. Right and you wouldn’t even know cuz you didn’t hire him.

    Maybe it’s easier for me because I’ve been single as long as you’ve been married. And let me challenge you on this (cuz I can): Have you ever been single for any period of time? Perhaps you need to just try it out for a couple years and see if you don’t come to like parts of it.

    I guess I’m just used to being single. The way I look at it, being alone is way *easier* than being in a relationship. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, spend whatever I want (within reason) and I don’t have to worry about what the other person needs/wants/thinks. Yes, there are some downsides to that as in loss of companionship and support, etc, but it really isn’t a death sentence either.

    Think about the peace and serenity and meditation opportunity you can experience sitting alone in a hot tub under a crisp winter sky looking up at the stars and the universe. How utterly awesome is that?

    It’s all in how you look at it.

    Sorry, didn’t mean to get on my soap box. I just wish more women were okay with being single instead of feeling incomplete if they aren’t “with” someone or in a relationship. That just sets us up for choosing the wrong guy because we’re too needy. Just my experience and observations.

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    1. Well, now, Little Miss,
      LOL! I never said I wasn’t okay with being single, I was just pointing out the down sides to the whole thing. I’m working on a post that presents the opposite view. Stay tuned. It’s all just for fun. But great comments though. To be honest, I’m not sure which status I prefer. There are up’s and downs to both. Cat

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  2. Damn Cat!

    It can’t be really that bleak for you out there on the west coast, can it? I realise that you are having heart pains over the hollidays, but jeeze!

    Wish I did live close so that I could help you with your domestic issues! You really need a guy friend!

    Keep your chin up and e-mail me if you’d like to talk ! Hell I’ll even describe how to fix things to you over the phone!!!

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    1. Carter,
      Hmmm, bleak. Have you read my post about all the car trouble and plumbing fiascos I’ve had this year? LOL! The adventures I’ve had. It’s been one absolutely amazing year, I have to say. I’m not really that down in the dumps, but as a writer, I sometimes like to play with what we call perspective. That particular post I challenged myself to take a really negative perspective. It’s not how I usually feel. I do enjoy my independence and I’m not really one that’s much afraid of being alone or completely silent. So, being single doesn’t always rip into me like that post might have made it sound.
      Now, about the help fixing things over the phone…that’s the sweetest offer yet! Well, except for the repair book suggestion and the other advice I’ve gotten from folks on here. I’m thinking that I could tackle each task or job I have to do around here and write a story (hysterically disastrous and funny, of course) about my adventures. I think that’d sell don’t you? Could be titled, “Soccer Mom’s Guide To Home Repair”…except, I’m not really a soccer mom anymore. Hmmm, another idea to pitch to Hollywood maybe for their next home improvement show. Crap, someone’s probably already thought of it.
      Anyway, thanks for the offer of help. I’m going to try to rip out my faucets in the kids’ bathroom this weekend. Oh, this could be really interesting.
      Stay tuned.

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    1. Yes, and I really do have one that takes the opposite spin. I wrote it last night, but then wanted to let it sit so I could see if there was anything to add to it when I reread it. Which, I haven’t done, because I wrote something else and posted that instead. But really, stay tuned!

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  3. Make sure to get some teflon tape and thread it in the direction that the nuts tighten in the threads!! Best advice! And turn off the water to the house first!! have fun and my number is (xxx)xxx-xxxx.

    Carter

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  4. That was a good one to read. It can be hard to really write your true feelings when people close to you are reading them, simply because those close to us tend to way over analyze. I thought it was good.
    One more thing to consider is that it can also be very lonely and seem as though you’re by yourself even when you have a mate.
    I hope you find the right one.

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    1. Kip,
      Hahahahaha! You are the first person to “get” the entertainment value of that post…or at least…to comment on it. Most people took it as 100% serious. Some of it was. But I was actually more interested in attempting a different approach to writing than I’m usually comfortable with. It was a stretch for me. But it worked. It’s been one of the most read and commented on posts on my blog. Somehow, at whatever level, people connected with it. I am really truly working on one from the opposite perspective. But I have that author’s critic going on in my mind now and I’m blocked…temporarily. Any suggestions about how to deal with the writer’s block thing?
      Cat aka CAB

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  5. Hey there O Most Holy Bloggerific One –

    Writer’s block … hmm, what’s that? (hah!) Yes, I have experienced that phenomenon occasionally, during periods when I have stopped writing. (yukyuk, very funny, huh?)

    Only cure I know is to keep writing. Real helpful, huh? But rather than obsess over the piece you’re blocked on, switch gears and write something completely different. Sometimes that will dislodge the gunk clogging up the works and when you go back to the other thing you’ll find the words flowing again.

    I really got to you with that ‘insipid’ comment, didn’t I? (lol)

    I can hardly wait to see the new title for the ‘Resolutions’ piece when you get around to it (yes, I will be looking for it).

    A strategy I’ve used for coming up with titles, phrases, words, whatever, is to sit and think until I’ve come up with 4 or 5 different ones to choose from, then start eliminating and select the one I like best (and the least cliched). Yeah, I know, sometimes it’s hard enough to come up with just one. But give it a try anyway. The dark flip side of this is agonizing over all the possibilities to choose from … a tendency that often slows down my writing. I’ve found that a larger vocab is not necessarily a blessing. Still I wouldn’t give it up … have just learned to accept the cost of being in love with words and language. And keep trying my best to say what I mean the best way I can with the tools at hand. You’re doing a great job of that yourself, Miss Cat Ma’am. (writer’s block, my ass)

    bye now baby

    (p.s. I like Riesling too … especially the Eroica … know what that means, right? Have a glass for me tonight.)

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    1. Wow! Lot’s o good stuff there, Kip! I’m usually very good at the old title thinking up stuff. I think them up all day long. I thought about 20 titles up at a party I was attending two weeks ago. Problem is, I forget them usually. If I don’t forget them by the time I get home and can actually write about them, I have forgotten what inspired that particular title. Anyway, thanks for the comments and kudos! They are always appreciated as you know.

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