There are two times when I find it most difficult to really write. The first is when I look at the blank white space on the computer screen and my normally overactive mind and imagination go abnormally awol on me. I hate that. White space on the computer screen. Dead space in my head. Inactive fingers on the keyboard. It sucks. Those times make me feel stupid and unimaginative.
The other time is when I have so much I am thinking of that I can’t sort any of it out in any coherent form that a reader could identify with, let alone read and understand.
Tonight, I am dealing with the “too many ideas” scenario instead of the “nothing at all” scenario. This week was full of amazingly humorous and poignant events all of which merit some serious fabrication in the retelling…just to make a point. Yet here I sit, stymied by the plethora of possibilities! It also sucks.
So, tonight, I share in bullet points, as a way of sorting for myself but also as a way of communicating what a really rich “life filled” week I experienced. My intent is that this post will serve more as a jumping off point for me for future posts than as a real valid post tonight. (Whatever a “real valid post” is.)
This week…things to remember and ponder include…
- I’ve really revised my perspective on men “going silent”. Since I yelped about it so much in previous posts here and at my other blog “Welcome to CABsPlace”, I suppose it bears some discussion, but not much.
- Death, two friends experienced the death of relatives this week. Death is a reality that began facing me straight up with the death of a very dear college friend just three months after we graduated, followed shortly by the death of my adoptive dad, my biological dad, my grandparents, and my mother. I’ve also been “privileged” to be the teacher of a student who died…the year they were in my class. I think it might be God’s way of dealing with my own personal fear of a reality we all must face, sooner or later. Whatever it is, I’m now more able to comfort those who are dealing with loss than I’ve ever been. This, I think, is a good thing.
- Dating, wow! My attitudes, perspectives and goals have changed tremendously in the last year.
- Life, my future, my present, personal goals and dreams. I’m changing and growing so much and the pain of this last year and a half seems to be finally bearing some fruit. I guess the analogy is, I have been through winter, now things are thawing…and Spring is around the corner. Some stuff in my life is really beginning to blossom on a professional level as well as a personal level.
- Tawdry fun…yes…there were plenty of every day occurences this week (namely the firefighters that visited with their BIG fire truck) that made me think fondly of all my slightly naughty friends here…there were just so many analogies that I was able to devise from that one event. Just know I was thinking of you all! Look for the post about Fire Trucks! LOL!
- Music, goals, life, dreams, fairy tales, the whole ball of wax…there’s just so much to enjoy and angst about it life and a lesson everywhere you turn. It must be written!
And that is where I am tonight. I hope to write it all, because that is what I am about…but I must also balance the writing with the living…and right now…there is so much to live!