What Begins With “F” And Ends With “uck”?

The answer is, of course, “Fire Truck”! 

Remember back a few posts when we were talking about tools, boxes and “a man and his tools”?  I’ve come across a new kind of tool box.  This one is the tool box of all tool boxes and it is so portable!  Look!  Here it is:


The trusty fire truck!  Now, you might not be aware of this, unless you are a firefighter, but a fire truck is really just a big tool box on wheels. 

Visual Dictionary Online explains a fire truck as  a motor vehicle “designed to transport fire-fighting personnel and materials and to supply water to the fire hose nozzles”.  Hmmmm, sounds interesting to me.

The fire truck then is a tool box filled with hoses and the personnel to operate the hoses (aka, hosers). 

However, while every one states that the fire truck is specifically designed to put out fires, I certainly believe that if given half a chance the fire truck could also be useful in starting a certain number of fires as well. 

Let’s take a closer look.


I mean, this is just too good to be true!  What other tool box do you know of  that comes with its own “pumper”?  There are even “grab handles”, and a “deluge gun”.  Seriously, depending upon how big the deluge and where the grab handles are, things could get really exciting!  Seriously?  Flames are burning hotter with thoughts of all the uses for such a fantastic tool box on wheels.

Don’t stop there did you notice all the bonus toys?  There is a control panel, not one, but two “hydrant intakes”, and a “rear step” as well as the regular “storage compartment”.  And, of course, dont’ forget what the fire truck is most popular for…


The hoses!  Think of all the fun that could be had, girls, if you had your own fire truck stocked with these hoses! 

Ahhhh, but the fun doesn’t stop there.  The fire truck is the only tool box I know that comes fully equipped with live beings to man the hoses!  And, yes, most of of them are just down right amazing to look at let alone to observe in action when they arrive on the scene to put out your personal fire.   And, ladies, have you noticed how they usually work in pairs????

ffightersinactionworking in pairs

Seriously?  I think the fire truck is the ideal tool box for any hot flash, personal raging fire you might encounter. 


Disclaimer:  Absolutely no disrespect is meant to any one who is a firefighter or works in such a valuable capacity.  I think our firefight fighter and law enforcement officials are very valuable.  I do not intend to in any way denigrate what you to do keep us safe and alive.  This was all just good natured tawdry fun with no malicious intent whatsoever.

34 thoughts on “What Begins With “F” And Ends With “uck”?

  1. Cat…you left out one major ingredient of the entire mix – the Captain (aka the on-scene-commander or the top hoser). The Captain generally does not ride on the fire truck. It is beneath him. The chief hoser goes along in a separate vehicle. I believe I was following such vehicle this afternoon. The side of the vehicle has large drawings of certain botanical plant that has been prven to provide added stimulus while one is engaged in the act of hosing or being hosed. The back of his vehicle has these immortal words: “Good Plant”, “Bad Law” and “Unf*ck the world”. When I came upon the Captain’s vehicle, I did a quick u-turn and followed it to a KFC parking lot and took several pictures. I would be pleased to send you said photos and doubly honored if you were to post them on your blog as a follow-up.


    1. Well, since I’ve never been intoxicated (at least that I can remember) with that particular botanical, I’ll have to trust you on the effects during fire extinguishing. Send me the pics. I’ll work them in somehow. Also…it did occur to me as I was reading your comment that I forgot one other position on the fire truck. It is that of the engineer. If I understand correctly, he’s the dude that stays by the truck and turns the hydrolics on and off, makes sure the pressure in each of the hoses is adequate and that the hoses are connected and such. That’s a simplistic explanation of course, but next to the chief, I think he’s the main dude. He’s certainly the one in charge of the truck! I think he’s the guy to know. But…then again…this post was just about the truck!


  2. Cat…there is something wrong with the photo of the fire truck. The mirror image of 119 is not 911. The 9 would be backwards on the rear view mirror.


  3. I once asked a female friend why women think firemen are sexy. She then explained the pole theory: Men love women who slide down poles, and women love men who slide down poles. Subject dropped.

    Just an observation or two on the toolbox and associated items for your consideration.

    1. It appears that the main purposes of the Pumper are “suction” and “intake”. This probably explains why the Grab Handles are at the front, or head, of the unit. I guess this gives credibility to the notion of promotion by suction.

    2. The majority of useful tools are located in the toolbox at the rear of the unit and require a rear step for ease of access.

    3. In order to perform correctly the unit requires an additional operator to raise and maintain hydrolic pressure and several operators to effectively direct the hose’s emissions. Great if crowd scenes are your thing I suppose (mute point considering your “pairs” comment).

    4. The pumper usually arrives with noise and fanfare (and the Fire Fighters blow their own horn) yet silently slink away to their wives/husbands/girlfriends/boyfriends wet and tired when the job is completed.

    5. Everybody has the Fire Fighter’s contact number.

    6.Fire Fighters are not discerning when it comes to sharing their expertise. They will douse anyone’s fire (on a positive note they always wear protection)

    7. On most occasions Fire Fighters wear masks that obscure their view. Understandable considering the circumstances.



    1. Hmmm, interesting comments. I think I agree with most of them and have to concede they are pretty accurate except on the following items:

      I, for one, have no affinity for any man who would slide down another’s pole. Sorry, but I just don’t go that way. So, your friend’s generalization was broad indeed and doesn’t include all broads.

      Firefighters don’t go slinking off to their significant others after the job is completed unless it just so happens to be the end of their shift. Most fire fighters work three days on and four off or some such thing so the really strange thing about that is they all go back to the fire station after the job is done. What a life. Go do a tough job with your buds and then go back to the fire station where there is only the guys and no one to nag you about where you were and what you were doing with whom. I mean, for some, that’s just the ideal situation, don’t you think.

      Yeah, I totally agree about the indiscriminate help that firefighters provide (which is why the post was about the BIG RED TRUCK) and not the firefighters specifically. I’m just a little too territorial for that kind of LTR.

      The mask thing is right on. I’ve been with people who should have used a mask.



      1. You will please note that my friend did not alude to one man sliding down another’s pole. What she actually said was that MEN love WOMEN who slide down poles, and WOMEN love MEN who slide down poles. Owership of said poles was not mentioned. Does this fall under the category of English comprehension?

        I take your point about slinking and significant others. What I should have said was that they slink off to their Firehouse where they all remove their aforementioned protection and shower, or bathe, as a group. One can only imagine the boyish pranks they indulge in during this “winding down” time.

        I also acknowledge that your post was initially and predominately about the Big Red Truck. However, as is your want, your mind did wander and you did articulate those wanderings. Consequently they too deserve comment.



        1. Really, Enimatik? Seriously?
          Poles? English Comprehension? Actually, I had my game on there. You see there is an aspect of said “English Comprehension” known as or referred to as “inference”. Now, inference uses clues the author alludes to but doesn’t come right out and say combined with prior knowledge to make the necessary comprehension connections.
          Let’s break that down into plain English:
          Poles. I used prior knowledge here to decode the clues you left. Now, since my original post was analogous in nature, I had to hope that you were responding in the same vein. Poles are something men have that women slide down. Women do not have them, if they do, they do not use them for men to slide down but for their own purposes in the absence of a “real pole”. Thus, I had to deduce that any man sliding down a pole had a certain orientation which, while it might be quite acceptable to many, is not how I roll…or slide…as the case may be.
          Ownership of said poles was, and had to be by nature of the conversation and the context, inferred, which I did accurately, skillfully, with superb finesse. Any more contentions about comprehension? Bring it! 🙂
          I’ll admit my mind and my writing did wander….you’ve got me there! But I like that about me, so I’m good with that. It keeps me in the place of having the freedom to wander and yet call you out when you actually dare follow me! 😉
          TC, yourself! 🙂


          1. As usual your rebuttal is valid. However, only if one uses deductive reasoning. I say deductive because the conclusion is based on a biased logic rather than through multiple observations (in which case your conclusion would be based on inductive reasoning).

            To demonstrate how, with deductive reasoning, one can reach a false conclusion using a true premise I offer the following syllogism.

            All poles are penises.
            Goal uprights are poles.

            Therefore a goal upright is a penis.

            You can find out more about Human Inference by reading such unknowns as Aristotle, Piaget or Koffka. The subject of Pattern Recognition (in Cognitive Psychology) might also be of interest to you.



            1. Ugh, you are a difficult person. You talk about deductive reasoning, which you claim I used, but you don’t refute. I’m then inferring and deducing that you have conceded the argument? Is this an argument? I didn’t think it was, but maybe? Hmmm, I’ll have to re read and check my “comprehension”. LOL!


            2. Cat, anyone with a sixth grade education (sometimes referred to as the hardest 3 years of an American’s life) can see that, based on my syllogism, your inference argument is no longer valid or, to use the correct terminology, a fallacy.


              1. You still have yet to debunk it. Switching and baiting the topic to another form of logic, which was not applied nor was it even in the realm of the original line of thinking is simply not good logical thought or reasoning. Your if then thinking works in your example but is seriously limited as an explanation in the original context. Had I begun with deductive reasoning or even inductive reasoning then, maybe. However, my thought was allegorical, which relies heavily on the prior knowledge of the reader and the context clues provided in the text as well as inference, which can be done, with or without deductive reasoning.


    1. mynooch,
      You so have to earn a shot from me. They’re worth it, but not easy to obtain. Maybe the other girls have you trained that you can just fling that out there and they’ll respond. Isn’t that just a tad bit too easy and,really? seriously? not even worth it now is it?
      The best things in life are worth expending some effort for. 😉


    1. mynooch,
      Just keep in mind that while some poles are penises, not all penises are poles. This is similar to the truth that while all squares are rectangles not all rectangles are squares. Further, in my own personal experience, not all penises are poles. Some are posts, some are barely even stumps.


  4. I realize I am late to this party, but… TOO FUNNY! And SO glad to see that the poles were at least mention-worthy… and the ‘hard hats?’ I realize we tend to think of hard hats in the context of construction workers but it seems to me that Fire(people?) wear nice, smooth, hard hats (with considerably protuberant brims) when they set off in their rubber… boots… and hoses (in hand?) to take care of our fires. Woosh!

    Also – MUST LOVE RED. Anyone who thinks that a firetruck is red so you can see it coming just doesn’t understand the underlying psychology. Red for passion. Always.

    And of course, it’s good to have a man with a hose in the vicinity if you have a burning interior.

    Most excellent post.


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