Online Dating? Proceed! But With Caution.

I first started online dating over a year ago before my divorce was even final.  Well, my final hearing was set for the last week of November and I think I put my first profile up sometime in October.  I did this mostly as a distraction.  The final days spent counting down till you are legally, officially and finally divorced can be a bit stressful.

I started out on Cupid.com, stayed there a month then switched over to Match.com where I was on for a few months.  Of course, I tried eHarmoney for three months (was completely disappointed and felt thoroughly ripped off) and then I went to a free dating site, where I’ve had my profile up off and on over the last six months or so.  I did take about a three month break over the summer. 

I’ve had a good amount of success on each dating site I’ve been on.  I attribute this to a decent picture and a well written profile…mostly to a decent picture.  I haven’t lacked for dates and I’ve met some really wonderful people along the way.  I haven’t met Mr. Right, yet, but that doesn’t mean the dating sites have failed.  It just means that the person who fits me best hasn’t crossed my path quite yet.  But, like I said, I have met some really wonderful people and made some good friends.  

I’ve learned some things to do and not to do along the way.  More about that later in another post.  What I want to share today, I stumbled over in my typical fashion.  I started out reading one of my favorite blogs on my blogroll, clicked on a blog link from their blogroll, clicked on another link from that blog and so until I ended up here at the blog of The Fraud Czar.

If you are at all into online dating.  You might want to check this out.  It is written by Jacob Solorotoff and he was/is head of Match.com’s fraud prevention efforts.  While I’ve never experienced the kind of thing The Fraud Czar mentions, I think it is important for people to be aware of what goes on.

Like I said, when I was doing the online dating sites, I got a lot of interest and a lot of mail.  I quickly learned that I couldn’t possibly respond to all the mail I received so I had to have one way of sifting.  I early on decided that I would not respond to anyone without what I considered a reasonable picture.  I also would not engage in conversation with anyone who couldn’t communicate well in print. 

I think this second self imposed screen may have saved me a great deal of time and angst.  Of course, since my demographics don’t add up to me being a real great candidate for a scam, I’m probably pretty safe too.  Even so, it is good to move carefully and cautiously in the world of online dating.