Get this. This came across my desk today…okay…well not really across my desk and clearly not today, but I thought I’d put this out there and see what people thought.
Here’s the deal. About six or seven months ago, well, more like a year, I met the acquaintance of this man. I met him online, he was very nice, we corresponded for a bit, I could see he was intelligent and a fairly reflective person so we corresponded for a bit. I knew he probably wasn’t going to be anyone I’d be serious with but he was definitely good friend material. He felt the same way. We met, we talked and the friendship naturally faded as our lives took us apart. One thing he said, and others have also said to me haunts me.
He said this, “I like to date more than one woman at a time.”
Okay. Fine. I think.
I’ve also heard women say the same thing. It sounds like this: “I’m not going to stop dating or seeing other people until Mr. So-and-So (which means the favorite of the people she’s dating) decides he wants an exclusive relationship with me.
My question is this…and maybe I should have asked it of my friends…but at what point does one know that he/she (meaning the person you are dating) wants to have an exclusive relationship with you. Is it when he kisses you? Is after a certain number of dates? What? Is there a conversation that you are supposed to have? And, if you are the person dating this person who feels it is okay to date more than one person at a time how on earth are you to know if you are one of one or one of many? Do you even broach the subject? Do you not?
It just seems to me that dating more than one person at a time is difficult unless you are serial dating and not making it to the second, third or fourth date with any of them. On the other hand, what if you met a couple of people that you liked, didn’t know either of them well enough to be able to say I want or don’t want to invest here and they both continued asking you out again and again. Well, obviously that was stated from the female perspective.
What if you are male? At what point do you quit dating around and change to dating only one? Do you discuss it with the intended one or do you just do it and hope she’s on the same page?
For me, here’s what I think would be weird: if you were going out with several guys at once and you happened to run into one of them (or their friends) while you were out with one of the others.
What do you all think? I know people do it, but I just don’t get it.