The Key To A Successful Marriage

It’s not as elusive as we all believe.  It can happen.  We can have successful, happy lasting marriages.  The fairy tale can survive.  John Gottman studied many couples over the last 30 years and within 15 minutes he can tell with 90+% accuracy whether a couple will be together in two years or whether they are headed for divorce.  Want to know the key to marital bliss?  Watch and learn.

Hmmm, think the same principle might hold true for work relationships, relationships with kids and friends? 

Something to think about.

6 thoughts on “The Key To A Successful Marriage

  1. Wow, 5 to 1 uh? I can see it. I can also see it being true in other areas. How easy it is to break down our children, and how hard to build them back up again after one angry outburst.

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    1. John Gottman’s work changed my way of thinking that is for sure. It really wouldn’t be exaggerating for me to say he changed my life either. His books are great, easy reads, very convicting and based upon his research. I highly recommend them. 🙂

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    1. That’s just it. I mean, I think I intuitively knew that negative was tough to overcome in a relationship, but the realization that negative stuff is that heavily weighted surprised me. How logical is it that a 5:1 ratio of 5 positive interactions to every one negative is what it takes to keep a relationship healthy? That’s the point of Gottman’s research. A 4:1 or 3:1 or 2:1 is not seen as good or positive by the partners, even though there is still more positive than negative. A 5:1 or better is what it takes for the relationship to be experienced as positive, rewarding, fullfilling, happy, whatever. Anything less and someone is very unhappy in that relationship.

      Now…and this is what I found to be most telling about Gottman’s findings…the 5:1….is essential during conflict. That’s the determining factor. 5:1 positive to negative interactions during conflict is the issue. How hard is that????

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