Last weekend, I made arrangements to meet a guy from online for the first time for breakfast. Not usually my preference, since weekend mornings are usually sacred time for me. It’s the time of the week where I get up and move at whatever pace I feel like which is unhurried, unrushed, unpressured, slow and relaxed. This is important to me, since the rest of my week is usually packed so full with deadlines, activities, demands and noise.
Saturday, I woke early and was on the road for a three hour drive to an All Tribes Pow Wow. I attended with a friend who is very good looking, very intelligent, well educated, okay beyond well educated, funny and basically almost perfect and who is someone I will never date. He is a very good friend and like a brother to me. Dating him would be like, well, ewww! But I could attend a Pow Wow with him and did. I can also travel with him, and have, with no concern for my safety or well-being. Boundaries are firmly in place and were clearly discussed. In many ways, I think a good romantic relationship has to have these elements of a good friendship in order to be successful. When we get together, we talk like schoolgirls. He, about who he’s dating, me about who I’m dating (I was pretty quiet this time, well, okay, maybe not so much) so it is no wonder that after leaving early in the morning to drive up to the Pow Wow, it was sunset and I’d not started on my way home. By the time I did arrive home I was just not in any way willing to get up and rush out to meet someone I’d had two conversations with on the phone. I cancelled, with the plan to resechedule if he wanted to. I left it in his court not really caring one way or another if he persisted or not. Well he persisted. *Places a check in the “Good for him” category.*
That reschedule occured this afternoon. It was the most agonizing ordeal I’ve experienced since the first time I met someone from online. I really hate it when I have to carry the conversation. I am plenty capable of it, but I am not comfortable doing it. I’d rather listen to others share their story. But, this person had no story. He’d never been married. He didn’t travel, didn’t do much, except take walks with his dog. Of course, he put on his profile he was trim and fit…but he wasn’t…not entirely. And, of course, he’s looking for the firm little body, but yet he didn’t exactly sport the male version of that. I totally don’t mind guys going for the firm little body…don’t get me wrong…I get how men are wired…but what’s good for the gander is just as good for the goose. Don’t expect what you’re unable to provide yourself. That’s all I’m saying. Anyway, it all makes ya wonder.
And, here’s another thing. I hate going for walks on the first meet up. Here’s why. You can’t size up the other person too well because you are too busy walking and watching where you are going. So much of me taking a person in is sizing up how they move. How they roll. What their demeanor is like. The eyes, the smile , all this is important. This is difficult to observe on a walk especially when your are as uncoordinated as I am and must concentrate carefully on putting one foot in front of the other on level ground. You also can’t really talk face to face to them. So, while I think a walk is an ideal thing to do the second or third time around, it isn’t my pick for a first date. That being said, I got enough information in the first three seconds to know this was not someone I was going to spend much more time with. So the walk really was a non-issue.
The online meet market is just not that fun any more. It’s still every bit as busy…just more exhausting than anything…these days. I can see myself folding this hand for good pretty soon.