Sandra Bullock, Jesse James & Weightwatchers

THE BLIND SIDE I just read an article that Momlogic posted titled, “Sandra Didn’t Believe the Background Check”. I love Sandra Bullock.  I’ve seen just about every movie she is in since way back in the Speed and Hope Floats days.  I am sorry to hear about her recent disappointments as I am when I hear about anyone in The Land of Fame Excess, as Miley Cyrus puts it, experiencing heartbreak or humiliation.  I do feel for our celebrities when it comes to the fact that they live in a fishbowl and not necessarily a kind one.

The article at Momlogic, however, made a generalized statement that I take issue with.  I thought about posting a comment to the thread on Facebook, but decided this would make a great post.  So, here I am.

The statement, "It’s an old adage, but if you want to predict someone’s future behavior, look no further than their past behavior" is a  broad generalization that doesn’t take into account the vast potential each human being has at any point to turn their life around and make radical changes.  Clearly, I don’t agree with it.  If it were true, AA wouldn’t work, Weightwatchers would have no success stories and a boatload of therapists would be unemployed in this country instead of making good money. We certainly know that AA and Weightwatchers possess numerous success stories that speak of changed lives. As for the therapists, I live in a very small city of 60,000 people and we have no less that two city blocks filled almost exclusively with counselors offices.  The locals call it Therapy Row. 

I also don’t agree with this statement because the experience of my own personal history which, were I to be judged by it, would condemn me to a lonely and loveless future because my future consists, according to this flawed logic, of me repeating the same very serious and sad mistakes I once made and, one would infer, who is going to want to be part of that?  Now, while I am single, I am anything but lonely.  My life is certainly not loveless, and I will in no way repeat the same sad mistakes of my past.  In fact, if anything, I am the person standing in the middle of the road before it drops over the edge of the cliff telling drivers to turn around and go back.  The logic of this particular adage simply doesn’t jive with the fact that human beings do have the ability to learn from their mistakes and to decide to behave differently.

Whether Jesse James had any desire or inclination to change or even said so, is anyone’s guess.  My take is there were probably other more current clues indicating that things really hadn’t changed which Sandra Bullock might have ignored.  Who knows?  Sandra made whatever decisions she made, based on whatever information she had, did not have, or chose to ignore.  People can and will speculate all they want about celebrities and Sandra and Jesse seem to be top of the list these days.  That’s probably something that will never change. Only Sandra and Jesse know the complete story.  Why should the rest of us care?

While I agree that the past is significant and should be taken into account, I disagree that  one’s past automatically predicts their future. I know too many people personally who prove this theory wrong by their present existence and their stories of conquering their past mistakes, poor choices, addictions, or horrors, and changing their lives for the better.  I am one of them. 

Blonde Moments

I’m not a news junkie.  I barely keep up on the current events. By keeping up, I mean, I’m lucky to find out something happened within a week of it actually happening.  I’m also not someone who follows the lifestyles of the rich and famous or the rich and political and famous.  I know I should be more informed, but, really…I could care less who slept with who and who did what where under who’s desk and why.  Nor do I care how many of my tax dollars were spent on a designer dress to adorn the current first lady, if even my tax dollars are going to that.  I should be more informed about things that are going on, and in other posts I’ve alluded to why I’m not (i.e., because I think the media in this country is warped, slanted, biased and anything but objectively informing us of anything).  Anyhow, I even reached new heights of uninformed blondeness for me today.

Really.  Sometimes I let those blonde roots show just a little too much.

Today my son was watching the news (yeah, my 14-year-old son watches it…never mind that I rarely do) and he noticed that Senator Edward Kennedy died.

“Oh wow!” he exclaimed.  “Ed Kennedy died?”  Like he couldn’t believe it but also like he knew who this was.

“Yeah,” I replied.  “Do you even know who he is?”

“Yeah, he’s the brother of…” he started to reply.  He seriously was going to tell me all about him!  I was floored.

“The brother of all those other Kennedys who died,” I impulsively interrupted. Somehow I felt I just had to know more than my son about this. 

My son just rolled his eyes, shook his head and clicked the remote to another channel.  “Mom, sometimes you are so blonde!” he sighed. 

Geez.  Now that was impressive.

Have You Heard About Whacko Jacko?

That was the text I received yesterday from a friend. “Have you heard about Whacko Jacko?” it read. I thought he was talking about the last guy I dated for any length of time. I wondered how he found out about  that guy. Or maybe he was referring to something done in private when a suitable partner of the opposite sex is not available.

I texted back, “Whacko Jacko?”

His response told me about the nickname given to Michael Jackson. I am, once again, found to be completely naive and “unedgy”. Sigh.

 Now, there’s been a load of stuff written about the King of Pop or Whacko, however, you choose to remember him. What I find interesting however, is that all the time he was alive (and I grew up with him so to speak so I know this) he was always considered weird and then later as a freak, but now that he’s passed, he’s suddenly taken on godlike qualities. Why is this?

His music was amazing, no doubt. The data on the sales of his music and the awards he won throughout his lifetime is proof of that. But while he was alive, the tone and timbre of discussions surrounding Michael Jackson were filled with mockery, ridicule, and scandal. In personal circles it wasn’t cool to admit you liked Michael Jackson music unless you were ready to be mocked and laughed at. It was tantamount to saying you liked Disco. I, personally, loved his music, but I would never have admitted it because the bloody laughingstock I would have become prevented me from being so bold. I also liked Disco at the time.

The thing I find strange now, is that now that Michael Jackson is dead the world is singing his praises in a way they never did while he was alive. The very same world that gave him public grief on so many occasions is now applauding him. I’m not here to judge his talent as a musician. I’ve never even seen the Thriller video all the way through. I’m not here to judge his personal life or whether he earned the right to be mocked, criticized or eulogized. He made some decisions in his life that I don’t understand. He contributed some music to this world that connects me to some very happy times and still has the ability to lighten my mood. I’m not a musician or an entertainer, but clearly he made an indelible mark on our world with his music. I’m not here to attempt to echo the sentiments of many others who’ve already said these things better and more eloquently than I could.

What I am here to do is pose two simple questions: How might Michael Jackson’s experience on this earth have been better or certainly different, if the wonderful things that are now being said about him publicly were the things he heard when he was alive?  Why do we so often wait till someone is dead to let them know the wonderful things we think about them or how important they are to us?