It is the busy season for The Wild Mind. I have a day job that I love and which keeps me busy enough. In addition, I am in the process of branching out to include teaching and working with adults. Currently, I am teaching a series of workshops on creating a positive home climate. Everyone wants it. How do we achieve it?
Clearly a big piece of this focuses on behavior expectations for children, and how it is handled when the child does not meet the expectations. Research shows that it is best if parents, teachers, caretakers adhere to a set of 3-5 clearly stated expectations. As an educator, I intuitively understood this when thinking of my students and my classroom environment, but when it came to my home? No way!
Over the last 4 years, I’ve changed my tune entirely. Not only did I come to realize in my rejection of the three simple rules idea, that I actually had many more rules and expectations for my students than just the three. This was in impossibility to enforce and, as such, it never really was enforced.
I now have three expectations in my home: Be safe, Be Respectful, Be Responsible. These expectations drive everything we do and how we behave in my home. After all, am I not, as the only adult in my home, the key player in my home for providing clarity and order. Am I not the one tasked with trying to make sure my children are prepared for adulthood and successful in life, especially once that life no longer involves me reminding them of all they must do?
I’ve mentioned my 3 expectations. They are not the only ones out there. I know this. They are just the ones that work for me (and there is some research behind them that indicates that they really work for many others).
Have you stopped to think about what your expectations are for your children? How many expectations do you have? Are they clearly written somewhere?