Toward A New Year of Healthy Living

New Year’s Day, 2010

Yesterday’s post spoke about thinking more thematically about New Year’s Resolutions.  To follow up on that, I feel I must give some more concrete examples of really what I mean. To that end, I have only one New Year’s Resolution. More aptly put, I believe this is a New Year’s theme that I hope characterize my year and the years to come. That theme is Healthy Living or Health. 

You see, I could do what I did last year and talk about all the things I want to do, as though life were some sort of checklist to be completed before the end of it. As a product of the American baby boomer culture, I’ve seen life this way more often than not.  I’d make my list, work frantically to accomplish it, come very close (or maybe not at all) and feel miserably unsuccessful or ineffective if I didn’t complete the list. I was what I could accomplish. 

List Fail

The problem with this thinking, at least for me, is that the list can never be completed because something is always being added to it.  You check off one item only to put another objective in its place.  What’s the sense of accomplishment in that?  How does this manner of operating lead to peace and contentment?  Even if you do accomplish something, the effect or result is only temporary, unless the item stays on the list and then, if you think according to the list, even if you’ve made progress, the danger of perceiving that you haven’t completed anything or not as much as you would have hoped exists. Lists are about completion not progress.  I want to focus on progress, process and becoming.

Really, what I am talking about here with this whole New Year’s Theme thing is not giving myself more stuff to do (and more reasons to be disappointed if I fail) but instead I’m dealing with effecting lasting change in my life.  There are areas I am not content with and I need to change.

Time for Change

Perhaps an example from my own life might serve to provide greater understanding of what I’m really driving at here.  Several years ago, nearly a year, maybe almost two before my divorce even started beginning, things (as things in a failing marriage will tend to be) became very chaotic and conflicted.  I was unhappy, he was unhappy, the kids were caught in the middle of that and dealing with the magnitude of kids that we had (11 in our blended situation), tensions were running at an all time high.  We’d been separated and back together more times than I care to consider, and I was at the point where I knew that something had to change.  I was afraid of what that might mean, but I knew I could not continue in the present situation any longer.  My health was failing rapidly and it was only a matter of time before  I experienced a serious and major collapse.

I really had to take some time and think about what it was I wanted.  Now, I didn’t take the attitude of it’s all about me.  I took the perspective that I needed to take care of me so that I could take care of those who depend and rely on me.  In that case, my children, my support network, my community in a larger context, but admittedly I wasn’t thinking on that grand a scale back then.  I was simply in survival mode thinking about what was going to be best for my children and I in the short run, but also in the long run.  If you’ve ever been in this place you know what a difficult task that can be.  How do you think about making monumental decisions that will be right for the immediate future and still be the right ones, down the road a piece?  There are ways of doing this, I’ve since learned, but at that time I was floundering around in a state of hopelessness, fear and anxiety. 

Respect and Survival

As I sat there in a school presentation where the speaker was talking about dealing with children respectfully and building a climate of respect in schools and in homes, everything crystallized for me. It all came together for me, not as a list of things I needed to do in a sequential order, but rather as a frame of mind I needed to adopt; as a way of being I needed to pursue.  It became clear to me, in seconds, that what was lacking on so many levels and in so many areas in my life was, quit simply, respect.  I wasn’t being treated respectfully, nor was I extending it to others in most areas of my life. Not only that, material possession, symbolic of someone’s effort, time, life and money were being treated disrespectfully, the world around us was not being treated with any measure of respect either by any of us. This is not how I wanted to live, nor was it the environment I wanted my children to grow up in learning that this manner of living was an accepted option. 

With the theme being respect, I was then able to clearly see that in the current situation I was going to be crippled if not completely detained in my pursuit of a respectful home atmosphere and lifestyle.  I was then able to make the hard and frightening decisions with confidence and assurance that I needed to make at that time to ensure for me and my children a life that involved treating each other with greater respect and infusing our home with respect.  Three years after that day, I can look back and say it was the right way to look at things and, though we haven’t perfectly arrived, because we continue to learn more each day about areas where we can demonstrate greater respect to each other and because, quite frankly old ways of being die hard sometimes, we are in a much better place than we’ve ever been. We would not be here now if I hadn’t taken the necessary steps to start the process.  I couldn’t have taken the necessary steps if I had focused on what I should or shouldn’t do.  Focusing on what I wanted my children and I to be and experience made it possible for me to figure out the rest.

Healthy Living

  It seems I’ve come to another place where a theme is stepping up to the forefront and demanding attention.  In the last three years, several themes have developed. First, was the theme of Respect.  The next theme that characterized the first year after the divorce till now was Survival.  The next theme which I believe to be developing in my life is that of Healthy Living or maybe just Health.  It is a theme that encompasses not just the idea of physical fitness and healthy eating, but also the areas of spiritual health, intellectual health (sustenance and growth) and relational health.

These “themes” I am talking of, if that is even an appropriate terminology, are not something I adopt, carry around with me for a while and then discard because they no longer suit the situation.  If you could think of building an onion from the inside out a layer at a time, you might come closer to how this all works for me.  As each theme develops in my life, it becomes part of me with following themes overlaying themselves on pre-existing themes.

So, since the title of this post is about a healthy new year and since I did mention it earlier on in this now rather lengthy post, I suppose I should discuss it just a bit.  Healthier Living, as a theme in my life, for this year, or for whatever amount of time it decides to be the forerunning focus, will help me make decisions daily regarding my time, my activities, my decisions, my focus.  Instead of creating a list that I may or may not accomplish, depending upon my motivation level or my feelings, I will instead operate from the place of asking myself, “Is this the healthiest thing for me right now?”  Or I might consider, “Is this particular choice going to move me closer to the healthy, whole life I see for my children and myself?”  The particular questions help me sort the myriad choices I face each day in order to more closely align my life with the healthful vision I see of myself and for myself and my family (because I don’t just simply think of myself, ever, in isolation; what I choose impacts and affects many others whether I recognize it or not).  So, in brief then, the theme works to direct my efforts, focus my energy and determine my choices.  I am no longer burdened by a list that can never be accomplished. I am simply, moment by moment becoming healthier and these moments will, undoubtedly stack up and create a year that is much healthier than years previous.

Enthusiasm, Hope, Confidence, Optimism

Approaching life this way has, over the last three years, been very effective for me in implementing significant and incredibly positive change in my life over a relatively short period of time.  This approach might not work for everyone, but I’ve found it to be incredibly effective for me in determining where to focus my energy, how to prioritize all the conflicting demands that bombard me daily as a single mom, and in helping me keep at it even when things become discouraging and disappointing as they likely will. It is an approach which instead of frustrating and defeating me, fills me with optimism, confidence, enthusiasm and hope. Since I’ve heard those are some of the key ingredients for someone in good mental health, I guess that’s not a bad place to start.

Time For Change

There are whole years for which I hope I’ll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Another New Year’s Eve

When you look back on 2009, what single word would you use to describe your year?  Was it a year of triumph, of joy, of wealth or misfortune?  Was it a year of stability or change?  Was it a year of loss, grief and pain?  Was it a year of peace and tranquility? Is it a  year you are glad to have lived or is the year for you already reminiscent of heartache, failure, struggle or regret?  Is there, if you were to consider it, a theme to your year?

Another year has come, tarried awhile, and is on the verge of bidding us all adieu.  This year no doubt brought its share of surprises, joys, disappointments, challenges and successes.  As I consider 2009 as a whole, I’d have to say that one word above all describes it best.  For me, that word is disappointment.  This, of all years, in my recent history, has been most disappointing for me.  Sure, there’ve been successes and some high spots and things are looking up overall. I’m incredibly grateful for all that, but just like a painting that has some red, some yellow, but is painted with mostly blue, I’d have to say 2009 was painted with mostly disappointments and false starts. 

I’m not going to take the time to review my resolutions from last year.  I’m certain I kept none of them though I got started on a few.  They’ll probably all be on my list again this year.  I do think, however, that I’m going to try something different this year.  Instead of developing a list of things I’d like to accomplish in my life, because there will always be those things I hope to do and most of them are ongoing items anyway, I think I will focus on becoming.  Instead of pondering what I need to do this year, I am going to stop with all the emphasis on "doing" and reflect more upon the person I should be.

Better, even, than this, I think I will just focus!  Most of my problem this year, seems to be that I got distracted from my priorities by things that were not priorities, yet I somehow convinced myself to make them so.

Some things have transpired this year, and even this week that indicate to me that I have a bit of internal work to do.  I’ve gotten distracted again.  I need to take time to reassess my own priorities.  Maybe you can relate. 

Personal Inventory

Have you ever gotten to that place in life where you were just uneasy with your life? Things are not horrible, but they aren’t quite what you know they could be?  You know you need to be doing things differently but instead you’ve been making excuses? Maybe it is that weight loss program you wanted to start but you keep making excuses as to why you can’t exercise now, or why you haven’t planned for healthy meals. Maybe you’ve continually said you wanted to do this or that but something always comes up and you are no closer to starting it than before.  What is all that about? After considering that question, have you then gotten to the place where you finally are simply tired enough of the status quo and the excuses that you say, "Enough.  It is time for me to change"?

Note, I did not say time for things to change.  I said time for me to change. 

Because it isn’t the things I am doing necessarily that are the issue and really most of the things in my life won’t change dramatically over the next year.  It is the me that I am being that is problematic.  I am my own worst enemy. I am the one who must face my own internal music, listen to the tempo, try to figure out the score, find the beat and play my life according to that.  Anything else will only end up with me, at this time next year, writing about more disappointment.

New Year’s Resolutions

Now, I must also mention, since all this sounds so dismal that 2009, for me was not a bad year. It was actually a very good year in many, many ways.  There are just areas, nagging little pockets of progress I’d hoped to have made in certain really significant areas that I did not. So with that, I will probably review my list of resolutions, but instead of writing a list that looks like this:

1.  Get in shape

2.  Learn to cook healthy meals that look good and are edible.

3. Read more. 

My list will instead focus on the kind of person I’d like to work on becoming, but this is much more difficult to pin down and specify.  It also demands some prerequisite contemplation about what my own priorities are, what my goals are, what I see my purpose in this world as being (and, no, I don’t see it as being all about me, but how am I fulfilling whatever role I believe I’m to be doing on this earth), and in what ways am I already doing whatever-it-is well and were can I refocus my thinking, adjust my time management, or change my perspective? It might very well prove to be an interesting journey, at least for me and those who are closest to me. 

I hope you will consider, if you haven’t already done so, at the start of this New Year, taking your own personal inventory and beginning your own inward journey.

Happy New Year!

The Wild Mind

Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.  ~Carl Sandburg

Don’t let time take control of your destiny. Let your destiny take control of your time. ~Ulrick Ricardo Milord

 

February

I’m not much for winter.  It isn’t that I dislike winter, it is that I hate the darkness of the days in winter.  Now, I suppose this would be different if I lived in a place like Colorado where it snowed a lot and the sun shone often in spite of the frigid temps.  The combination of the snow and the sun would effectively ward off all gloominess associated with the dreary winter days that are oft experienced in certain parts of the Pacific Northwest.

I can handle winter up until New Year’s Day.  Then I’m ready for Spring, and more better, summer!  Every year, and especially this year, I party pretty hard through the holidays and winter doesn’t bother me much because I am distracted.  January was easier this year due to The Beau; he distracted me quite a bit this last month. In spite of the distractions, the early nightfalls and scraping the car windows every morning before work (when I’m already late and don’t have a handsome, considerate significant other to help me out with that) really create some serious resentment when it comes to all things winter. Never mind that I love the warm winter evenings near the fire.  That’s good only so long as there is firewood.

As I was driving my oldest home from her job the other evening we both noticed that behind the cloud cover and peeking through at points there was still light in the sky.  This cheers my soul.  This means, the worst of winter may be over for us and within two months spring will be here. 

I love February for this reason.  The cold, freezing biting frost begins to give way to the drizzly, cozy, coffee sipping days of February which magically turn into March leading us ultimately and inevitably to those wonderful days where I do not have to get up at the crack of dawn every morning (though I often do, just because I can) and can spend my days as I wish doing all the things I didn’t have the free time to do during the school year.

It also means quite a few months before the summer heat wave hits that I can save money by not using heat and not having to cool the house either.  That rocks!  

P.S.  My heat bill usually hits $400 a month.  By heating with wood and turning my heat way down during the day and only up when absolutely necessary, I was able to cut my gas bill in half.   It sure helped all summer to scavenge that free wood off friends who needed help clearing their properties.   And the little tip about turning the furnace down overnight even when we are here was golden!

P.S.S.  The upside to winter is there is no yard work, well, not as much anyway.

Adding Another New Year’s Resolution: More Meandering Through Cyberspace

Not really more “meandering”.  I barely have time to do the things I want to do online or in life, let alone to  spend more time just cruising through Cyperspace without some very specific motive in mind.  In spite of my time crunch, I’ve decided to burden myself with yet another New Year’s Resolution:  I need to become more technologically savvy.

Now, to some who know me, that statement will elicit raucous laughter and a major rolling of the eyes.  Those would be the people who see me as already technologically literate.  They are the ones who say, “Hell, if she can’t figure it out, I’m not even going to try!”  They are also the ones who don’t know how to accept an appointment request in Outlook either…and email is a challenging thing to them.  Mention the word chat, and these people think you mean an oral discussion over coffee at Starbuck’s.  Text messaging is ridiculously slow and of no value to them and Twitter is something birds do in the spring.

Little does this group know how very little I really know.  I only know a little more than they do.  The difference is, I’ve spent a lot of time becoming really good at what aspects of technology I do know.  I also make the same mistakes often enough that when my techie illiterate friends ask for help I can bail them out.  (So, don’t tell them my secret, okay, because it kinda feels good to be considered a little knowledgeable about some things on occasion.)

I don’t know how some people do it.  They seem to have a lot of time to explore stuff out there in Cyberspace.  I spend a fair amount of time online, but like the person who favors the same route to and from work every day, I tend to visit the same places again and again.  I’m not much of an adventurer that way.  Plus, my computer is sooooooo old that surfing the net requires that I wait several minutes after every mouse click for a page to load.  I’m exhausted before I begin.

Today, a real gem of a blogger was Meandering Through Cyberspace and stopped in at my other blog, Welcome To CABsPlace!  Fortunately for me, said blogger left a comment and I followed her home.  I think following her blog will help me accomplish my newest New Year’s Resolution.  Since she meanders through cyberspace and reports on it, I might be able to save some time and get some perspective from those who spend more time out there than I am able to.  Her post today highlighted the differences between Facebook and Twitter and she links to other sites and resources throughout her posts which make it very helpful for people like me with almost no time in a day to surf.  Check out Meandering Through Cyberspace.  It’s another one for the blogroll if you ask me!

My 2009 Off To A Great Start

My year is off to a great start.  Already, I’ve renewed what once was a valuable friendship to me. Yesterday, I met up with a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in almost a decade.  In a previous life, our husbands worked together for the same big church in my area.  She is still married to the same husband she was married to then (yay for them!) and my husband from that former life is now my ex.  He still works for the same big church.  Things changed, my marriage and my life erupted like the mushroom cloud over Hiroshima as failing marriages of staff people in  large conservative fundamentalist churches have a way of doing. My friend and her husband moved away to Portland, Oregon, went to school and well, though I’ve thought of them over the years often, we just lost contact.  But our daughters, who were born about the same time nearly 15 years ago, stayed in touch.  Earlier this week I received a surprising phone call from Portland Friend with the request that our daughters get together since Portland Friend and her family were in town for the holidays. 

I have to say I was a bit nervous about this.  I felt the shame of my past come rushing up as it sometimes still does when I come into contact with folks who were in on the front lines of the action when that whole nightmare went down. I needn’t have troubled myself.  When Portland Friend walked in the door, it was like time had never passed.  Her first words to me were, “You know, Cat, one of these days you’re going to start aging!”  I laughed at her.  I was thinking the exact thing about her.  “You look great!”  I fumbled.

We spent some time getting caught up on each other’s lives and just talking about bigger things.  Like God. Like Church.  Like life, dreams, goals and purpose.  Like how we’ll probably neither of us do the organized church ministry again and how that entire experience changed our lives. Like how we really take issue at some points with organized religion…at a lot of points.  Portland Friend and her husband are now working with people in crisis, homeless people, drug addicts, those most people would call the dregs of society.  Church image, attendance, activity and rules are no longer the focus of their lives.  She relayed to me how her husband was noted as saying, “If given the option to spend an hour with heroin addicts or the church board, I’ll choose heroin addicts.  They are the ones who know they need to change.”   

I found as we talked that though our lives had gone different directions over the years our perspectives continued to be as congruent as they’d ever been.  We’d ended up in the same place on many issues though our roads to get there diverged greatly.  It was a fascinating almost revelatory conversation for me in some ways.  I told her of my feelings of restlessness here and that I felt I was nearing a bit of a crossroads.  I’m not exactly at the place where I can make the choice to go one direction or another but I see something like that appearing on the horizon. 

“I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if it meant I moved away from this area”, I told her, “But right now the liklihood of that seems so remote.”  

“It sounds like you smell a change coming.  It will be interesting to see what happens to you.  Let’s keep in better touch from now on.  And I want you to come up, stay with us for a weekend and explore the possibilities in our area,”  she smiled.  I knew she was not just offering that invite out of courtesy either. I know this about Portland Friend, she doesn’t have a false bone in her body.

Eventually we both realized that though we could have talked all night, we had to get back to reality. We exchanged phone numbers and emails, said our goodbyes and off Portland Friend and her daughter went.

I don’t believe people enter our lives or leave them on accident.  I don’t believe Portland Friend’s re-entrance in my life at this particular time was inconsequential.  What does it mean?  I have no idea. What will come of it?  I may not see the significance of that particular event for years to come.  It is nice to know, that if I should ever want to consider relocating to Portland, there is someone there who could help me navigate what could be an overwhelming transition were I to go it alone.  That reality alone is significant.  I’m reminded again how life turns on a dime and sometimes the little things turn out to be really big things.  I’m wondering if this little conversation might be one such little thing.

I can tell you this: Because of that conversation I’m anticipating an interesting year.

Starting 2009 Peacefully With A Cuppa Joe In The H.T.

Alright, everybody’s already been up and at ’em and posted their good-byes to 2008 and their hopeful wishes for 2009 on their blogs already.  In spite of my lack of originality on the topic, I’m still going to chime in with my perspectives on the transition from the last to the current year. It will, at very least, help me sort out all the varying and wayward thoughts streaming through my gray matter this morning…which this morning especially…feels particularly gray, like it is socked in under a deep cloak of tangible fog.

I am getting a late start so far on this first day of 2009 due in part to way too much celebratory cheer last night…and not getting to bed till nearly four this morning.  Gads, that’s about the time my friends on the East Coast (should those be capitalized?) were getting up for the day.  I do hope this slow beginning is not indicative of how the year will go.  Unless, of course, slow is to be interpreted as peaceful, which is indeed how my day, particularly my morning progressed.

In spite of the slow, or maybe relaxing is a better word, start to my day, once I awoke at something like 9:30 this morning, I was wide awake, and thanks to lots of water, some ibuprofen and valerian root last night, no headache this morning.  Well, okay, a minor headache due to too much vodka and not enough water or sleep last night.  I should and have felt much worse in the past after drinking such quantities.  I’m glad I feel fine this morning.  What’s a temporary minor “heckake” as my dad used to call them?

I decided that, in spite of feeling particularly regretful about how the family celebrations last night transpired, I would not berate myself for the  choices I made and instead choose differently in the future.  In the spirit of this commitment, I got up and opened up the hot tub, fished out a mismatched two piece swim suit, made some coffee and enjoyed a steamy morning cuppa joe in my HT, completely alone, with the rain falling down around me.  Ahhh, cool mist on my face, embryonically warm water enfolding me  and warm brew inside me.  As I enjoyed these physical sensations,  I contemplated the past year and pondered as much as I could see down the road of the days ahead.

It feels like a different year, same ole stuff to me. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. 

I’ve gone on and on about the challenges 2008 posed for me. I don’t want to do that anymore.  You can read more about my personal trials in previous posts here or at my other blog at Welcome to CABsPlace! 2008 actually began with the end of 2007 and if that pattern holds true, then 2009 is beginning with the end of 2008.  This is not such a bad thing. 

The end of 2008 is an improvement over 2008’s beginning.  Life after divorce has stabilized.  While the financial picture is still somewhat bleak, there is great improvement each and every month.  My family is settling into the routine of our new life post-divorce.  We are not in danger of foreclosure, bankruptcy, job loss or health issues that plague many, many others.  We are indeed very fortunate and I am very grateful.  We have each other, and we actually enjoy being with each other…most of the time.  So, I guess, when I sort through all the things I’m feeling and thinking at this juncture of my life, I’m thinking I hope that none of these things change for the worse.  Improved circumstances are always welcome but I’d be completely okay with the status quo remaining simply that.  

I’m content to declare, “Out With The Old, In With the Same Ole, Same Ole”.

Yes, I’m going to put my list of hopes, dreams, goals, resolutions up eventually because I’m a believer that a written and spoken goal is far more likely to be achieved than an unspoken or unwritten one.  But, I’ll not do that at this moment.  I’m just pretty glad to enjoy this peaceful day that started with a cup of coffee in a hot tub. I do hope that this is some indication of how my year will be.

Hopes Of A Celebratory Fledgling Annum

It’s been more than one diurnal course (not to be confused with di-urinal course) after Christmas and I’ve not posted the answers to the “Can You Name This Christmas Carol” Quiz I posted a week or so ago.  The answers appear below in purple. 

Can You Name This Christmas Carol?

1.  Nocturnal noislessness  Silent Night

2.  Quadruped with the crimson proboscis Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer

3.  Monarchial triad We Three Kings

4. Yonder in a feeder  Away In A Manger

5. Righteous darkness  O Holy Night (but I kinda liked Righteous Darkness)

6. Youthful male percussionist  Little Drummer Boy

7. Father Christmas en route to muicipality Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

8. The Primary Christmas  The First Noel

9. Query regarding the identity of descendent  What Child Is This?

10. Diminutive Judean village  O Little Town Of Bethlehem

11. Ancient benevolent despot  Good King Wenceslas

12. Adorn the corridors Deck The Halls

13. Exuberance for the planet  Joy To The World

14. Give attention to the melodious celestial beings  Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

15. Tin tintinnabulums  Jingle Bells

16. A dozen 24-hour Yule periods  The Twelve Days of Christmas

17. Befell during the transparent bewitching hour It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

18. Homo sapien of crystallized vapor  Frosty the Snowman

19. Singular yearning for twin anterior incisors  All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth

20. To espy matriarchal osculation of fat man in red  I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Clause

21. Perambulating through a December solstice fantasy  Walking In A Winter Wonderland

22. Aloft on the acme of the abode  Up On The Rooftop

23. Frozen preciptiation commence  Let It Snow

24. Hence arriveth Kris Kringle  Here Comes Santa Claus

25. Jehovah dulcify blithe chevaliers  God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

26. Endocarp desiccated in a conflagration  Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire

Did you get them all?  Now you can take this one to your Christmas parties next year.  See how many of them people can figure out after a few hot buttered rums! 

I extend to you hopes of a celebratory fledgling annum!

Now What?

Happy New Year!!! The greetings and cheers ring out as millions watch the ball in New York Times square drop. In living rooms, family rooms, homes, apartments across this nation we counted down the last 20 seconds of 2007, then raised our glasses to ring in the new year, 2008. It is a New Year, symbolizing new opportunities to reach our goals, start over in our endeavors to find the paths we may have strayed from in the previous year…or years.

For me, on this second day of 2008, the year already seems old. The transition for me was seamless, so seamless in fact, I wonder if in fact it will be a “new” year. After all, winter is still here at its coldest. All my old bills still stare at me from their pile on my desk. The problems and issues and struggles I faced in 2007 are still with me though I yearn for a New Year where these struggles are gone and my life is easy…or if not easy, then easier than it is now. I suspect that many after the celebrating is over feel as I do, that a bigger, deeper gap exists than we left the old year with. What is to be done about that deep empty feeling of “now what” that seeps in after the busy-ness and celebrating of the holidays. Now what?

Well, for one thing, the brief break in the routine schedule does provide me with time to clean out the old clutter. De-cluttering is a great stress reducer and, for me, a great spirit lifter. I feel as though I am symbolically cleaning out the garbage of my life when I go through the piles that tend to accumulate. As I clean I ponder my goals, hopes for the future, plans for the next week, month, year. This year, I am starting a new life after some very significant and in many ways unhappy changes to my world. The changes were truly necessary to my survival and are positive and healthy steps for me, but even good changes often leave us in the place where we look around at the new world we are in and wonder, “Where have I landed and will I like it here?” I have no choice. I must make the best of it. So, I begin, one small step at a time.

I cannot change my financial picture today. I cannot change the winter into summer. I cannot change much of my life, overnight. I can begin the journey though and the first step is to get myself and my home organized so that our days are more peaceful, less hectic and even though things are not perfect in all areas, there is peace and tranquility, good friends and happier memories. And so, with that, I encourage all who might be feeling the “post holiday doldrums” to find one thing they can work on to improve their personal situation. Something small but significant. And if you can’t find anything small and significant, find anything at all. Clean that overstuffed closet. Clear out that junk drawer in the kitchen. Dust!!!! For me, tonight, after I finish this blog, I am going to clean my desk and the credenza I want to get rid of. It is such a small thing, but when I am finished my life will be in better shape because I will know where the papers and documents I need to deal with are instantly. I will probably also find the scissors my children moved from their place and didn’t return. I might even, if I’m lucky, find that pack of double A batteries I purchased in November that suddenly disappeared. Hmmm? Did my son abscond with them for his Gameboy Advance?

After the cleansing process is finished I will be in a much better place to take stock of this new world I’ve landed in and this year which awaits. I will then be better able to determine my course and chart a path toward my goals, aspirations and, yes, I still have them and believe in them, my dreams.

Welcome, 2008! Happy New Year to all!