Star Wars and Marriage?

Yes!!! Another analogy!  Yes!  Of course, it is about relationship!  That is after all what I do here. Admittedly, this one is darker than I usually tend toward, but, you must understand, I’m in kind of a wacky mood tonight and having fun with it.  In the past, I’ve tended toward the dark side out of sadness or momentary discouragment with dating or relationships.  I’m so not in that place tonight.   

 A friend sent me a song by The Human League and I went searching for it on You Tube.  I used to love this group back in the day but never owned any of their albums, tapes or CD’s.  As I was reminiscing via You Tube, I stumbled across this video. So, I started out doing something completely different and ended up here.  This was seriously a post with a mind of it’s own.

If you’re at all familiar with the classic Star Wars, you will appreciate this.  I think the entire video is analogous to a long term relationship in many ways.  You invest, you get through some awful stuff together, you go places together and it just doesn’t work out.  Seriously, what is up with that???!! 

Anyway, whether you agree with my analogous perspective on this one or not, watch the vid.  It’s pretty creative.  Enjoy!

Flagger Comedian Makes Me Seek Out Road Crews For A Good Laugh

Some people just know how to take a potentially stressful situation and turn it around so everyone around is laughing and relaxed. I was able to observe this principle in action this week in one of the most surprising ways. On Thursday, they were doing some road work at one of the busiest and most confusing intersections in our little city.  This intersection is not the busiest in the entire city, but it is the busiest and most confusing in the entire city.  It is one of those strange designs where three streets join and none of them are perpendicular, so there is no exact street corner.  Add to this the addition confusion of a couple of side streets joining this intersection, but not exactly at the intersection, and a mini mart sort of deal with a parking lot with exits and entrances to the main thouroughfares right in the middle of the mess and you have the potential for some really incredible accidents or backed up traffic.  I’ve experienced both.  Put a flagger and some road repair people out there and you have the perfect recipe for long waits, confusion, frustration, tempers and the like.  Of course, I would never become annoyed at a situation like this, because I just use it as an opportunity to a.) finish putting on make up if it is on the way to work and b.) text one of the kids about the afternoon plans if is after work.  I’m pretty good at making the most of those little minutes at stop signs in my traumatic 7-minute commute each day.  It’s just too bad I don’t do this with the rest of my day, but I digress.

On Thursday, the city had men out surveying this particular area of the roads and it created even more than the usual confustion.  As I pulled up to the flagger, who was directing three directions of traffic with a sign that only had two sides, “Slow” and”Stop”, I thought this could be interesting. I braced myself for a long wait and cracked my window a bit so I could hear his instructions if I needed to.

The first thing I realized was he was yelling at the commuters!  Not in an angry tone but in a theatrical type easily projected voice.  It really got my attention.  I rolled my window down a little more. 

“I’ll get you through in just a minute!”  He yelled at the guy in the oncoming lane as he frantically motions to the people in the other oncoming lane to hurry up.  “Hurry up!  We don’t have all day!” 

“Okay, your turn!”  He motions to me and I shift my car into first (I always forget to do that when I stop).  “Oh, too late!” the flagger said as he flips the sign facing me to Stop.  He looked over and smiled, “You’ve got to be faster than that!” 

By this time I was cracking up.  I eventually got through that intersection and headed on my way to work. 

Later that day for lunch, my student teacher and I decided to go out somewhere instead of eating the school lunch of the day. Of course, we had to pass the flagger again. As we approached the bizarre intersection I told her to roll her window down for a good laugh.  She did and sure enough Flagger Comedian was in full gear. 

“Hey!  Won’t be too long now!”  he yelled at us.  He was right.  We were on our way before we knew it in spite of the conjestion and confusion.  As we drove to lunch laughing at the guy I realized a really great life lesson:  People who are really  good their jobs and who make work fun really rock!  I loved going by that road work mess all day long!!!!  The longer I was stopped the better I liked it.  This guy was great.  Really!

That guy took a potentially tense and disastrous situation and turned it around just by having fun with it.  He didn’t change any of us.  He merely infected us with his humor and demeanor.  Not one person at the intersection while I was there was angry, ticked off or upset.  Traffic ran smoothly and no one waited excessively long. 

I wonder if he’s that much fun at home?

Taking Responsibility!

A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. – Rita Mae Brown

That’s it!  I’m taking responsibility!  I admit it!  I did write my last post about chickens.  Some may have perceived it as disrespectful to chickens.  Some might even believed that I speak disrespectfully about chickens in front of my children and that this makes me a poor parent.  I also feed my children chicken and sometimes eggs!  Now, I know that there are those out there who disagree intensely with this approach to parenting.  There are those who think children should not be fed chicken or eggs and that by even mentioning it here on this blog I’m a wicked vile person.  I don’t know, maybe they were a chicken themselves in a former life and therefore they take my approach to all things chicken as a personal affront. 

I can’t take responsibility for their issues.  All I can say is I did write that last post about chickens. 

Furthermore, I’m not going to allow myself to live a life of reaction. I’m not, I tell you, not going to stop writing about chickens (or anything else I want to write about in any way I choose to write about it)  just because a few, who presume to know me, but really don’t,  malign me for doing so.  In fact, just to prove my integrity I’m going to post pictures of chickens.  I want to do it, so I am!  If this is too painful for you, feel free to click off!

Here we go.  This is Chicken Youth. Hopeful, cheerful, always outgoing.  Loves to learn new things, especially how to be a good little pecker.

 

 

 

 

 

This is Kelly Rooster.  He’s a handsome and proud cock.  However, he treated his last wife a little fowl.  He’s single and not in a relationship yet…but I dare say he soon will be. He might be in several simultaneously.  He is a fowl, skanky bird.

 

 

 

 This is the poster art for the new movie, “Poultrygeist”.  I haven’t seen the trailer for it, but I hear there are a bunch of sexy chicks and hot cocks running around killing each other and basically screwing up the set.

 

 

 

The chicken below was on the front page of our local paper last year.  Apparently, this chicken went postal!  Caused a lot of damage, as you can see, to the mailbox there.  They caught him in the act.  He plead guilty.  Now he’s cooped up in the state pen forever. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 The chickens pictured to the right are petrified.  They were discovered on a dig a friend of mine went on last summer as a part of his graduate research.  He has a lot of pull so he was able to bring these back.  Don’t they look good for being buried beneath the earth for a kazillion years? I think this proves which came first.  They’ve yet to find any chicken remains that date older than these eggs.

This concludes my chicken activism for today.  There, I’ve taken responsibility for the last post I wrote and I’ve taken action by allowing the negative comments in prior chicken posts to deter me from writing about a subject of my own choosing. 

I do feel better now…and maybe…just maybe I can let this chicken obsession go forever.

The Wild Mind’s Latest Up “Dates”?

The Wild Mind Meets the Aztec Dancers - April 2009

Look at my most recent date(s)!  LOL!  Just kidding!  These really are not people I dated. They are also not contacts I met from online.  These are two of the Aztec Dancers I met when I attended the All Nations Tribal Pow Wow this weekend in a city nearby. 

These men were amazing!  (Oh, I could go so many places with that, but no, I’m going to play this one straight.)  There were 5 of them in the group; one drummer, four dancers. These two ictured were dancers.  They were in incredible shape and they danced constantly for thirty minutes.  If you’ve ever seen anything like this you know that this kind of dancing is very physically active and strenuous (again, the places I could go…but…I’m containing myself here). 

The headdresses were easily three feet across and just as tall.  Every one of the men had different regalia on (don’t call them costumes…they are not costumes!).    Anyway, I’m including a video, which is not the video of the group I saw, but it is the most similar to the dancing I saw including the lighting of the fire at the beginning and the positions (Hee!hee! Okay, I won’t go there) of the dancers.  The dancers I saw were much more precise in their movements and much more energetic as well. 😉  Enjoy! 

You Know The Honeymoon Is Over When…

Seriously, you know the honeymoon is over when life with your significant other begins to feel less like fireworks and more like you have a “Bear In There”.

Bear In There by Shel Silverstein

There’s a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire–
He likes it ’cause it’s cold in there.
With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He’s nibbling the noodles,
He’s munching the rice,
He’s slurping the soda,
He’s licking the ice.
And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.
And it gives me a scare
To know he’s in there–
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.

Just something to think about.  🙂  There are so many places I could go with this, but I’ll just let you think about it…for now.  😉

Craziness Getting Worse!!!

Okay, a brief break from the silliness to get a tiny bit real.  So much has happened this week I can’t even begin to sort it out without laying it all out and then coming back to it later.

First, signed up on an online dating site last night (DO NOT even ask me why!).  I had a post written about this bizarre thing I did and why, but other things pre-empted that and so that post will be showing up tomorrow probably.

I now have enough material based on the events in my life in the last two days to keep me writing for at least a week without having to resort to Youtube videos, unless, of course, I get bombarded by hate mail (read the likes of The Ghost) which really just makes any kind of self-disclosure or personal introspection an exercise in futility.  Then I may have to either get back in said person’s face big time or chill with the Youtubes again for a bit.

On the Romance front, (read even as the Beau was bidding adieu…hahahaha!) I’ve fallen in love, gotten over it…I think…and had a past relationship (if you could call it that) reenter the picture, though not in any serious kind of way.  However, the fact that we both met tonight for drinks (well I had one and he had water), after a year and a half, was fairly astounding by itself.  But I only categorize that in romance because that’s where it started.  It is sooo not there for me now.

My oldest was awarded some big money from a fairly big name university and even though it isn’t located on the East Coast like she wants it is big money to a reputable institution which will probably be her meal ticket to any grad school she wants to go to for Law or Poly Sci or Journalism.  This is most definitely big news for us.

Finally, the ex got married at a little drive thru chapel this week in Las Vegas.  My youngest,  who is his daughter,  has met this person one time.  This person she must now relate to as “Step Mom”. You can read about how I feel about that in more detail here.

So you can look forward to the following posts in the near future:

• My thoughts about why on earth I even signed up on an online dating site when, after 1 day and over 20+  very uninteresting emails in my inbox, I still am just not into it, but why maybe I feel I should be?
• My experiences with Rampant Monkey Sex Man and his re-entering the stage of my life after over a year of no communication.
• and maybe even a bunch more silliness about how women view tools differently than men do…or something.  
• I might even make a bra out of men’s underwear and model it online, but don’t hold your breath. 

In any event, it might be completely possible that one day soon I post nothing  just because I need a night off…but that would ruin the writing streak I have going, so don’t hold your breath on that one either.

Finally, I Found An Uber-Skilled Handy Man!!!

Seriously?  Check this out!  If this guy can really use his tools the way he’s demonstrating here I’ll bet things never get dull in the home repair department.  I want him to marry me and have my next four children!!!!  (Oh, man!  I so know I am going to dream about him tonight! Not the thing to be watching  or blogging about just before bedtime!)

Creative Craft of the Day

This is really over the top creative.  Such a wonderful gift idea too! In this economy it is a great way to save some bucks, because you can buy men’s underwear in a three pack for less than half the price of a regular sports bra. 

Insomnia–In Six Sentences or Less, More or Less

Wide awake while everyone else is sound asleep.

Tossing and turning, physically and mentally, I get up to get a drink of water and turn on the computer.

I should read a book instead since the computer won’t help me sleep and reading a book in bed is warmer.

I could have used a really wild, blow-your-brains out party last night. 

Not really.

I don’t party, I’m not like that, but I could have used something last night or early this morning or right now.

 

Or…how about this…

 

Silence greets me in the still morning hours.

Everyone slumbers while I lie awake tossing, turning, unable to doze.

Getting up, I choose the computer instead of a book, I need to post something here today anyway.

I approve some comments, play with words, begin to feel that sweet drowsy feeling creep forward from behind my eyes.

I’m going back to bed.

Last one there’s a rotten egg!!!! 😉

It Helps To Be Well Equipped!

Have you noticed how a good handy man is always well equipped?  If he’s handy, he’s got the tool for the job, no matter what the job.  This is something that I used to take for granted until I entered the dating scene in my 40’s.  I’ve since learned that not all men are handy nor are they all vested with what I would consider a well stocked tool kit.  Some of them are even lacking certain necessary power tools in their arsenal.  Little did I know but this is becoming a real concern.  Men are losing their tools at an astonishing rate.  Read about this here. How people like this hope to keep a relationship alive, let alone a house in good repair is beyond me!

I’m not exactly the home repair goddess and most of the tools I started my last marriage with (yes, they were mine, dag nabbit!) walked out the door when he did, so I’ve been gradually replacing my tools as I do various jobs around the house.  Some of the required tools are obvious, a hammer, screwdriver, you know.  And, no matter what anyone says, with tools, just as with sex, size does matter…or…more accurately fit matters. 

For example, hammers come in various sizes.  It is important when I am picking out a hammer that I don’t choose one that is too large or I will not be able to adequately handle the job.  I will hurt myself and damage the project.  On the other hand, if the hammer is the right size, fits in my hand nicely, isn’t to heavy or too light, I can complete any job quickly, skillfully and with great pleasure and satisfaction in a job well done.

Purchasing tools is not an easy thing if you’re a woman who has absolutely no clue what most of the tools are used for. Just as going to the local pick up bar can be an overwhelming thing for those just venturing onto the dating scene, going into Lowe’s or Home Depot to pick out a tool kit is just as overwhelming  for the ignorant or inexperienced.  And I was ignorant. 🙂   I found myself  thinking all sorts of things like, “Wow!  Will I ever need something that large?”, “How many of those does one need?” and “Wow!  That sure looks cool but what do you do with it?”  (Please, don’t ever take me to the local adult store….I had a tough enough time with the power tools at Lowe’s!)

Cripes!  When it comes to cetain tools, I’m still ignorant, but less so than I was two years ago. I’ve decided every woman needs her own set of tools and she needs to know how to use them…and they must be the right size and fit for her.  Recently, I made this purchase which I think is genius:

 

No, self respecting man is going to walk off with any of that stuff!  Plus, if you’re working with your good buddy Mr. Sexy HandyMan it is less likely his tool accidentally ends up in the your tool kit or your tools in his, unless, of course, you want it that way. 😉  Even then, after the repair job is over, you can easily pick up your tools and walk away.