I just read an article that Momlogic posted titled, “Sandra Didn’t Believe the Background Check”. I love Sandra Bullock. I’ve seen just about every movie she is in since way back in the Speed and Hope Floats days. I am sorry to hear about her recent disappointments as I am when I hear about anyone in The Land of Fame Excess, as Miley Cyrus puts it, experiencing heartbreak or humiliation. I do feel for our celebrities when it comes to the fact that they live in a fishbowl and not necessarily a kind one.
The article at Momlogic, however, made a generalized statement that I take issue with. I thought about posting a comment to the thread on Facebook, but decided this would make a great post. So, here I am.
The statement, "It’s an old adage, but if you want to predict someone’s future behavior, look no further than their past behavior" is a broad generalization that doesn’t take into account the vast potential each human being has at any point to turn their life around and make radical changes. Clearly, I don’t agree with it. If it were true, AA wouldn’t work, Weightwatchers would have no success stories and a boatload of therapists would be unemployed in this country instead of making good money. We certainly know that AA and Weightwatchers possess numerous success stories that speak of changed lives. As for the therapists, I live in a very small city of 60,000 people and we have no less that two city blocks filled almost exclusively with counselors offices. The locals call it Therapy Row.
I also don’t agree with this statement because the experience of my own personal history which, were I to be judged by it, would condemn me to a lonely and loveless future because my future consists, according to this flawed logic, of me repeating the same very serious and sad mistakes I once made and, one would infer, who is going to want to be part of that? Now, while I am single, I am anything but lonely. My life is certainly not loveless, and I will in no way repeat the same sad mistakes of my past. In fact, if anything, I am the person standing in the middle of the road before it drops over the edge of the cliff telling drivers to turn around and go back. The logic of this particular adage simply doesn’t jive with the fact that human beings do have the ability to learn from their mistakes and to decide to behave differently.
Whether Jesse James had any desire or inclination to change or even said so, is anyone’s guess. My take is there were probably other more current clues indicating that things really hadn’t changed which Sandra Bullock might have ignored. Who knows? Sandra made whatever decisions she made, based on whatever information she had, did not have, or chose to ignore. People can and will speculate all they want about celebrities and Sandra and Jesse seem to be top of the list these days. That’s probably something that will never change. Only Sandra and Jesse know the complete story. Why should the rest of us care?
While I agree that the past is significant and should be taken into account, I disagree that one’s past automatically predicts their future. I know too many people personally who prove this theory wrong by their present existence and their stories of conquering their past mistakes, poor choices, addictions, or horrors, and changing their lives for the better. I am one of them.
6 thoughts on “Sandra Bullock, Jesse James & Weightwatchers”
I don’t know… look at K-Fed.. Jesse James pulled a K-Fed, and sure people can change, but sometimes, it takes hitting complete bottom first.
f the trail he took to get to you is lined with the bodies of disappointed women, your only job is to stop that bad boy before he reproduces.
This isn’t AA we are talking about or weightwatchers… this trying to get other people to do what he wanted.
In your comparison, then Sandra Bullock is the next drink. And all the other girls were the drinks before. But to get to AA, you have to admit that your a drunk.
I totally agree with you on that, Travis. The person who will change is the one who desires and sees a need for change. And I’m not making any statements about Jesse James or Sandra Bullock and the wisdom or decency of their decisions. Sandra probably was the next drink. I am merely pointing out that just because a person has a sordid past, doesn’t mean that they will automatically experience a sordid future and that is all.
I would, however, agree with the quote you just posted and I’d add that I’d definitely need to see some evidence of change that seems to be sticking before I take a risk of becoming another disappointed woman.
I agree with you completely. Isn’t the concept that we “learn from our mistakes” and perhaps also, that “we learn our lessons as many times as we need to?”
Past behavior may be predictive of certain things in certain situations; it is certainly not the only predictor of everything in every situation.
Thanks for commenting on my blog and leading me to You. Yeah!! I’m a big Sandra Bullock fan, too (oh, and a big Travis fan, too!).
I also say that people can change, but as Travis pointed out, they need to look in the mirror. Are there any signs that they’ve attempted to change? (say, therapy).
And I’m a firm believer that being in a healthy relationship — with extra support from therapy, AA, you name it — is a great way to start.
I’m definitely in agreement with you and Travis on that score. Thanks for stopping by Single Mom! Now, how come your book wasn’t at Barnes & Noble? Hmmmm?
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