7 thoughts on “Illness and Strength…or the Lack Thereof

  1. Well, you probably had an inkling I might pop by on this post.

    What do other single parents do? Run ourselves in circles. Run ourselves into the ground. Hope we don’t get ill, or injured, or sick. And when we do, as you said, we muddle through. We keep going, because we have no other choice but to keep going.

    But sharing with others, in this way, is a relief. We feel less alone, even if we are alone. That gives us the will – and strength – to keep going and have it be just a little bit easier. Because ultimately it comes down to individuals reaching out and extending a hand. Even a virtual hand.

    No. Not possible to stay down. Those who say “sit, rest, take a moment” do not walk in the same shoes, have the same battles. Their accumulated weight. Their time constraints. The physical repercussions if you stand up and fight; the financial (and self-esteem) impacts if you do not.

    But today, for me, I slowed down, just a little. I typed 70wpm instead of 90wpm. My son was late for school, an hour, and I didn’t fuss. I’ve spent 10 hours on my computer (not the usual 12 or 14 or 16). I’m soon going to kiss him on his forehead, tell him I love him, and go get in my bed and put on silly television. And hope I sleep. And try to will what strength I have into the limbs of a woman I’ve never met, because she’s the kind of person who puts good stuff back into the universe in very real and specific ways. And I believe in the power of the heart and the mind. My body is exhausted, and I”m going to pay attention to that and get horizontal. But my mind – which rarely shuts off – and my heart, which continues to dream – are with a family and a mom who is needed. My will is strong; it’s gotten me through terrible times. My heart is stronger. It will do the rest.

    The body? It tires. More and more easily. That’s what battle and stress and constant worry – never shared – will do. Eat away at you.

    Community helps.
    Benching yourself for awhile helps.
    Loving helps most of all.

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  2. Hope you’re still hanging in out there on the Left Coast! (At least there’s no making of school lunches at the crack of dawn on Saturdays… just the scheduling scramble of weekends. Ha! Makes me think some scrambled eggs are in order. Now where in the hell did my Personal Chef go this morning? SO hard to get good help these days!

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    1. I’m hanging in there. Barely. It is Saturday at 2 in the afternoon and I just got up. I’m probably heading back to bed. Thank goodness for those no kid weekends. I have often hated them, but this time, I’m glad. Thanks for checking in. I’m going to go take my temp in a bit. I don’t feel good. I have a 13 hour day coming up on Monday too with conferences. Will I make it?

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  3. I can fully understand. This year alone has done a number on me. My father asked me how I was able to cope through it all. (And, I’m not talking a little things, big things) and I said, “I don’t I just portray that I do on tv.”

    I’ve had to pause, sleep, and rest. I restarted my blog again, after the fiasco last year. And, I write to heal.

    I serve my kids out of love, and that helps me heal. But, I will not be whole for awhile, and any sickness litterly knocks me down, and drags me through the mud… a couple of times.

    In reality though, we ignore our own pain. Our own headaches and illness because we need to make sure our kids are taken care of.

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      1. You still want to smile, and smell the roses, someday you will take a wiff and notice that they are do smell good. I didn’t mean to make it sound so down. I just know how tough it can be.

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