Random, Sweeping Generalizations

sexy womanGads!  I hate people who make broad, random, sweeping generalizations.  I say that, recognizing that I am just as guilty of this crime as the next guy.  The only difference between me and the next guy is that I am aware that I am doing it and the next guy isn’t (how’s that for a random, sweeping generalization?). Sigh. 😀

“All women feel guilty after sex.” 

Now, ladies, before you laugh so hard you require surgery or a change of underwear, let me tell you that this is a statement I actually heard from someone within the last week.  He was serious.  He was also very, very drunk.  Drunk or not, I believe that he believes that this is really reality.  I should so recommend a few of my single mom bloggy friends to him to read.  He’d learn a very different perspective very quickly.  Most women in Single Momdom are adults…and we make our decisons, for the most part as adults…not as inexperienced teenagers struggling over the loss of our virginity or purity.  For that matter, I should also recommend a few of my single dad bloggy friends to him to read. He’d learn very quickly that the women they are meeting and dating (and there are many out there) are not a bit guilt ridden over a good time between the sheets with a man they are attracted to. Disappointed, maybe, if the relationship doesn’t progress, however, guilt ridden?  I so think not!  This person is clearly out of touch with the reality of most women his age.  I believe that his is what he hopes is the case, not what is really the case.  But anyway…

Next generalization…

seriously?“Any woman could go grocery shopping at (insert the name of your own local bag-your-own grocery store here) and get 5 guys in an instant who would go out with her.”  Same drunk redneck, making this generalization as made the first one.  Now, the first one, I know is not true.  I know this because I am a woman and I don’t feel guilty after sex. (Okay, admittedly there are times I’ve been disillusioned, even horrified, but let’s be clear disillusionment and horror are not the same emotion as guilt.)   Even one person not feeling guilty makes his generalization invalid.  Easy generalization to disprove.

This second one however, is trickier to disprove because it actually requires some research and data collection.  So, in the interests of integrity and wiping out all falsehood and kicking random, sweeping generalizations on their butts, I went to the local bag-your-own grocery store and did my own research.

My inquiry statement was, “Can all women grocery shopping at this store get 5 guys in an instant who would go out with her?”  Okay, remember, it takes only one to dispell this generalization and I chose myself as the one control group specimen. 

Here is what I observed. 

But first, some background.  The excursion was an end of the month quick grocery run with my son to pick up milk, English muffins and a cheap, cheap bottle of white wine.  (Yes, it has  been a stressful back-to-school season. I’m celebrating the fact that I’m not only alive at this point, but that things actually seem to be settling into a routine.  Woot! Woot! for me!) 

Seriously?  Five men that would go out with me? 

Okay, I’m attractive and all, but really?  Five men who would jump my bones in an instant if given the chance?  Easier said than done. Here’s why. They simply wouldn’t want the chance, nor would they be given the chance.  This is what I saw.

Of the 87.6 men that I saw 50.4 of them were wearing a gold band on the third finger of the left hand indicating that they were either emotionally or legally unavailble.  Not a go.

Of the 37.2 remaining men,  10.2 were male children under the age of ten. I simply dont’ think so, sorry. 

Of the 27 remaining, 14 of them were there with another woman roughly about their own age.  Seriously?  If they even tried to come on to me their male organs would be served to them for dinner that night guaranteed.  Not going to happen.

elderlyOf the the thirteen men now remaining, and…yes…I am using the term “men” loosely…6 of them were clearly residents of the local assisted care facility.  Sorry, but no can do.  Spent my childhood caring for the elderly and infirm, don’t want to do that anymore. Even if I was interested, I’m not sure they’d remember where they last left the Viagra.  Next.

5 of the remaining seven men were 20-somethings who were there helping their elderly and infirm mothers grocery shop.  I’m not a cougar and they didn’t look once in my direction, let alone twice so it’s all good. No go there.

The final two men, of the original, 87.6 were clearly in a relationship with each other and nothing I could do was going to persuade them otherwise.

So, I just went to said grocery store, checked out the availability, found none. Voila! Said generalization is on its derriere!  Humph! I really hate random, broad generalizations from randomly, generally stupid people.  They can be disproven almost every time. 

In the end, every good research project ends with some observations and conclusions and suggestions for further research.

This particular research project seems to indicate that this particular random generalization of a drunk man who is barely old enough to tie his own shoes is completely unfounded. Just because he’d jump anyone at the local bag-your-own doesn’t mean everyone would or that everyone would want to jump anyone and everyone that crossed their path.

Next.  Finding good relationship is easier said than done.  This is the major suggestion for further research.  Just what exactly does it take for two people to hit it off, make it work far beyond the level of mediocrity and also make it work over the long haul?  These are the questions that were not addressed in this study, which certainly deserve some serious consideration.

Anyone up for this?

11 thoughts on “Random, Sweeping Generalizations

  1. I assume all women will feel guilty after sex, which is why I give them a good crack on the ass during sex. That way they can get laid and repent all at the same time. I give them another crack on the ass just in case they are thinking about getting bitchy with me afterwards and not getting me a sandwich. I call it tough love.

    As for your research, it isn’t who YOU would have sex with. It is who would have sex with you. To that end, you have to count the married men. They will all have sex with you because their wives aren’t having sex with them. You don’t continue to feed the fish bait once you caught the fish.


    1. Zeus,
      Wasn’t doing research on who I would have sex with. I said it correctly the first time. I can’t count the married men. Fish feeding going on or not, these guys wouldn’t have gone anywhere. They were terrified. If you saw their wives, you’d be terrified too.

      If I was doing the research on who I’d have sex with, the data is clear. 0% qualify.

      As for the cracking…hmmm…maybe this explains a few things. 😉


  2. Wow, between the two of us, we have painted married men as sexless creatures that are afraid of their wives. Where do I sign up for that? Of course, the worst part is being married is better than the craziness of single/dating life. Hold on while I go suck on a business end of a .357 Magnum. It’s all about being positive, sunshine. 🙂


    1. Sanity,
      Can you say sarcasm? Repeat after me now, /s/ /ar/ /k/ /a/ /z/ /m/. There you go! I knew you could do it.
      Obviously, I really don’t believe that all married men are sexless creatures afraid of their wives (haha! only the ones at this particular grocery store are, which is another broad and useless generalization which was exactly the point that was trying to be made…I think).
      I’d have to disagree strongly that the worst parts of being married are better than the craziness of single/dating life…at least…not for me. Doesn’t mean I’ve necessarily given up on marriage either, but that’s a whole post in and of itself. No matter how dejected you are from the realities of your personal situation ;), I still wouldn’t recommend the Magnum Method of problem solving. Seems a pretty permanent solution to a very temporary problem to me, but…then…what do I know? 😀


  3. This comment from BigLittleWolf was posted in error under my post “Single Parenting: No Regrets?”. I am reposting it here at her request:

    Ah yes… the sweeping generalization, that ought to be swept out to sea…

    That first one cracked me up! I know there are people who believe it, I just didn’t think there were ADULT people (over 30) who still believed it.

    The second generalization is actually more concerning, but then – the man was clearly not at his peak. Nonetheless, I applaud your conducting your own impromptu study! And I’m thinking this could be a fun thing to do on the right day, at the right hour, in the right location, and of course… the right shoes.

    But I’m thinking you need a carefully scoped out target demographic to have a prayer – no matter how hot you are!

    As for the study on what makes a great relationship, they’ll be working on the generalizations, and the particulars, forever.



  4. And my reply to Wolf’s comment which was also posted in error:

    Agreed, a carefully scoped out target demographic would have been ideal. The real deal was that I went to the very grocery that the dude named himself.
    It would still be a very fun thing to do on the right day, at the right hour, in the right location…and…definitely…the right shoes. I just might have to try that! Sadly, my personal target demographic doesn’t exist in my actual location. Sigh.


  5. And BigLittleWolf’s recent reply to my reply (and no I am not making this up just to make it look like people are commenting on my blog!):

    Too funny! And my personal target demographic consists of French basketball players with ivy degrees, a background in stand-up comedy (”I am standing up!”) and a cozy flat in the heart of Paris…

    I’ve got the image in mind, the shoes to wear, even the corset… but not the ticket! (Clearly, it’s a niche market… or should I say “marché cible.”)

    Too funny! And my personal target demographic consists of French basketball players with ivy degrees, a background in stand-up comedy (“I am standing up!”) and a cozy flat in the heart of Paris…

    I’ve got the image in mind, the shoes to wear, even the corset… but not the ticket! (Clearly, it’s a niche market… or should I say “marché cible.”)



  6. BLW,
    Hmmm, now you’ve got me thinking. My personal target demographic? Right now? Here it is:

    Australian accent, dual grad degrees, quirky sense of humor, well read and well versed in a variety of subjects, able to make me feel like I am the only woman in the world worth spending time with, cozy four bedroom in a suburb of Melbourne, walking distance from the longest beach of white sand I’ve ever seen and a 40 minute train ride into the city. I’ve got an image in mind, the shoes, the corset wouldn’t matter because in his own words, “That’s all nice, sweetie, if it makes you feel pretty, but I’d just as soon you get your gear off and we get down to business!” LOL! Like you, I don’t have the ticket either…yet! 😀


  7. The Wild Mind goes off on a tangent once again!

    I started reading a post about random generalisations (the correct “English” spelling) and found myself drawn into another subjective opinion of men, or a “man bashing” session. Oh sure, it was cloked in sarcasm but the fact remains that the post was less about “sweeping generalisations” and more about The Wild Mind’s perception of the men she encountered in her little podunk town grocery store. A town that I must say is dear to my heart. However, let me address the major portion of the post as I see it.

    In Australia we have a saying that some men are “punching above their weight”. What this translates to in American is “how did HE get HER?!” I can comment on this because I fit the required KPI’s perfectly.

    I’m 49 years old. 5’10”, I’m overweight. I’m balding and I’ve been told that I have a somewhat gruff demenour. I’d barely get a second look on the streets (except from those who often say “oh shit, don’t cross him he looks mean … which is fair enough because I can be). I think that I would fall into TWM’s unacceptable category had she spied me in said grocery store.

    Now here’s the kicker. I’m in a relationship with a gorgeous blonde (by most people’s standard) who’s intelligent, articulate, gregarious, independent, resourceful, sharing and sincere. I get the “how did you snare her” comments. I even ask myself the same question. I’m definately “punching above my weight”.

    I wont go into how we met but suffice it to say that had she first seen me in TWM’s grocery store, with a similar mindset, on the day she conducted her “survey” (87.6 men? I’m assuming you implemented some empirical grading system for those you considered not quite men) our relationship would have been over before it began. Never judge a book by its cover. At least read the preface!

    The subject of the survey as I read it was “Can all women grocery shopping at this store get 5 guys in an instant who would go out with her?” That being the case TWM’s opinion of the men is irrelevent. Only the opinions of the men in question are valid. As they were never asked the question can’t be answered.

    Just sayin’ …


    1. Enigmatik,
      I didn’t pick the term “Wild Mind” for nothin’. Yes, it was a tangent. No, it was not orderly in the format of the post, agreed. But then, my mind rarely is orderly and clearly not linear. Most of the fun of writing here is that I don’t have to be particularly disciplined that way. I know…I know. I should be more disciplined that way even here.

      As for your punching above the your weight story…very interesting! Thank you for sharing. There’s definitely something to be said for judging a book by more than it’s cover and not judging a man only by his exterior. I have some questions for you. Where’s the balance…as you see it…between physical attraction and interior worth? Is this balance the same between men and women? Is it true that men will more likely be the ones to “punch above their weight” than women? How would you do that research and how would you set up the controls so that the data is objective. Hmmm? Interesting research project to try, but could it actually be done?

      As for an empirical grading system. Nope. None whatsoever.

      Finally, I do believe, dear sir, that you have some of the very best reading comprehension I’ve come across in a while. Sanity kind of picked up on the fact that my approach didn’t entirely address the question straight on. You nailed it too. The opinion of the female is irrelevant. It is the men who have to be questioned.

      The reality is that a better strategy would have been to place the target females within sight of each of the target males and ask each of them the same question, “Would you go out with this woman?” There would have to be at least two women of drastically different levels of attractiveness. All other variables would have to be the same, age, attire, amount of make up, length of hair, etc. to control for attraction. If at least 5 of the guys say yes they’d date one woman but not even 5 will date the other then the hypothesis has been effectively disproven.

      Well, at least, I think I’m close on that one.

      Anyone up to take on this research project. Heck! I’d do it if some place will award me a PhD. for doing it! LMAO!
      But I still really want to take on BigLittleWolf’s research idea!


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