Kip’s Challenge

My last little benign (or so I thought) post elicited some pointed discussion from a long time reader, Kip. I encourage you to scroll back read the post and his comments and my initial response.  His follow up comment, I will deal with here.  He’s been enough of a burr under my saddle ( I do mean that affectionately)  to earn his own post in response to his last comment.

First his entire comment:

Yes, well, there’s no mystery about the hose attraction, is there? When in doubt, introduce prurience and the mob will take it from there (present company included).

And drama, well, of course. That’s why we read novels and go to plays and watch the tube and if we can’t find it there we create our own.

I expect you’ll keep doing with this blog what you’ve been doing all along. Doing your brain dumps, sifting and sorting the experience of your life, putting it out there for better or worse. Which is fine. But what do you really really want to achieve by doing this in a blog? What role to you want your audience to play, if any? If you want them to acknowledge their presence by talking back, you’re darn well gonna have to provoke them. Get out the big guns. Start spilling out the things we all think about but never say. The things we all want but never acquire. The things we’ve all suffered in silence. Sex, love, death, money. All the biggies. You go girl, I’ll be watching.

*The Wild Mind raps her fingers on the desk in a monotonous pattern while staring pensively at Kip’s comments*

I expect you’ll keep doing with this blog what you’ve been doing all along. Doing your brain dumps, sifting and sorting the experience of your life, putting it out there for better or worse. Which is fine. But what do you really really want to achieve by doing this in a blog?

I originally began this blog to play with writing.  My goals for writing were to improve my writing and to play with a variety of topics and approaches.  This I stated up front.  Another goal, though unstated, was to improve my confidence in my own writing.  I have achieved both these goals to some degree though they are goals that are by nature never completely achievable. While it might not show it here, my writing in other venues has improved tremendously to the point that I am routinely called on to write and edit materials others create before they go to print.  My confidence in my ability to write has improved as well.  Writing for an audience and getting audience feedback albeit sporadically through this blog was a bonus.

I admit, I do not write to intentionally arouse debate or discussion.  I have reasons for this.  Reasons I am scrutinizing myself right now.  It is true that comments are the life of a blog.

Another added benefit of writing on this blog was the sifting sorting process I undertook which Kip refers to in his comment.  Unplanned but valuable to me personally.  I don’t apologize for that, because in the end I don’t write to please others here, I write for my own purposes. I have achieved those purposes with this blog so far.  If it seems less than interesting or meaningful to others based on the presence or absence of comments or interesting content then so be it.  This is my personal journey and it has been valuable to me to sort through the crap I’ve encountered along the way in this format.  Whether I continue in this vein is something I’m weighing.  If I do, I will have achieved my own humble purposes in doing so, audience participation or not.  I am decisively undecided about the direction I want to go with this.

Kip brings up a good point.  What the hell is my purpose here?  Writers generally always write for a purpose. What is mine?  It is a fair question and one I must address.


What role to you want your audience to play, if any? If you want them to acknowledge their presence by talking back, you’re darn well gonna have to provoke them.

I haven’t decided about this either.  Provoking kind of puts me on the line and I’m not sure I want to take the heat…I’m also not sure I don’t want to either. It is an investment in time and energy which quite frankly I’m not entirely certain I have loads of either to invest in order to present a quality forum.  Certainly not on a daily schedule for sure.  Again, I’m pondering this direction too.

It seems the real question here is not can I or do I want to take the heat, it is, am I up for the mental challenge?  Face it.  It just requires some clarity of thought and some conviction.  While I at times have both of these in spades, I’m not sure I want to put it out there just yet.  On the other hand, maybe it is time I quit lurking in the sidelines and really begin to bring it.

Sigh. This is almost as painful as deciding what to do for a graduate research project.

Start spilling out the things we all think about but never say. The things we all want but never acquire. The things we’ve all suffered in silence. Sex, love, death, money. All the biggies.

Now this is the most interesting thing you’ve said yet.  By that I mean, this is the the statment that has me staring blankly at the screen pondering…pondering…pondering.


Because if they are the things we all think about but never say there is a reason we never say them!  Maybe they shouldn’t be said? Maybe they can’t be articulated adequately.  Or maybe it would be very healthy to say them. 

And, yes, there is a bit of the chickensh*t in me that says I really don’t want to face the heat!

I get that there’s a challenge that’s been laid down.  Picture me quizzically analyzing said challenge, weighing the costs in terms of time to research, write and respond and then where to focus in light of the many other things I’m also considering.  Plus, there is the knowledge that even after a great deal of time and energy expended my efforts will be lame and weak at best. 

You see, in the end, it isn’t an issue of the quality of writing here, it is a reflection of the quality of my thinking and it is this component I am evaluating and dealing with right now. I simply cannot write anything of quality if I’m not thinking those really wild thoughts and these days, thinking is tough when just as I’m beginning to formulate a thesis statement I’m beset with sibling rivalries, dirty laundry, leaves in the pool and the eternally nagging question of what to fix for dinner.  I hate it, but it is my reality for now.  While I’m fighting it ever so valiantly, sometimes it all just gets me stuck.

Then again, maybe I am just the little podunk cowgirl who really doesn’t have the mental abilities to tango with the big boys. 

Okay, now them’s fightin’ words!

And now, after reading this post,  you must have no doubt that the moniker, “The Wild Mind”, refers not to the bizarre quality and content of the thoughts occurring within said Mind, but instead to the undisciplined and untamed nature of that Mind.

26 thoughts on “Kip’s Challenge

  1. I am moved and flattered! Loved your response. Although, methinks the lady doth protest too much. You might have better spent that time and effort composing a blog on a topic far worthier than lil ole me and the perceived gauntlet I’d thrown down. But if your attitude is–the hell with my audience, this blog is for me!–then hey, do what you want. And clearly, I have found your writing compelling enough to continue to return again and again, so you must be doing something right, eh?

    If this blog has been your “personal journey,” used selfishly to play with words, practice writing, sort various crap, etc. — ’nuff said. You may not be no Einstein but you sho ain’t no podunk cowgirl neither. (And incidentally, while it may be true that “writer’s generally always write for a purpose,” they don’t usually apostrophize the word “writers” in a sentence like that.) (**sly and snarky snicker concealing an impulse of nothing but good natured and affectionate teasing**)

    I would prefer to think of “the Wild Mind” not in the sense of undisciplined, but in certain other ways. “Wild” as in willing to explore verboten topics; “wild” like an unbreakable horse; “wild” like an impetuous, fickle, unpredictable woman. And by golly, I’ll continue to think of her that way. Because, in fact, I think she’s plenty disciplined. So I think that’s B.S.

    Let’s see how wild the Wild Mind truly is: if it is merely in the sense of undisciplined, then she will release this post to the world (because if she were disciplined, she surely wouldn’t); if she is “Wild” in the way I see and know and want her to be, then she’ll likewise release it because the nature of this post might easily be seen as impetuous, unpredictable, and bordering the realm of the verboten (though not fickle in the least). Why not fickle? Because my affection for the Wild Mind is steady and unchanging and has been so for some time now; because I am not ashamed to admit it: I am in love with the Wild Mind–not with the body behind that mind (though I suspect I’d like that too)–but with the lively intelligence, sparkling wit, and down-to-earth candor lying behind the words I’ve been reading for months and months. What do you do with a reader who is in love with you? Because whether you care what your audience thinks or not, they do in fact exist, and are in fact real flesh-and-blood people with real feelings and desires. Words have great power, even when you’re just playing with them. (“Pen is mightier than the sword,” and all that.) Do you have what it takes to release this post? And does it earn another blog? I will stay tuned in eager anticipation for more of the words that–were they lips–I would kiss them, were they thighs–I would stroke them, and were they %#*&–I would #@&!* them. (You see, I do have some restraint.)

    P.S. I will be a burr under your saddle any day–no place I’d rather be.


  2. now who’s this goddamn prospective beau?!! shove off, buddy, go do your prospectin’ somewheres else! and take your popcorn with you!


    1. Oh, now this gets interesting!
      I want the popcorn. I’m taking a front row seat. This looks like it could be good! Hmmm, who’s takin’ bets here? Damn, where’s a good bookie when you need ‘im?


  3. Now now Kip. Why so testy? Do I detect a touched nerve?

    Amazing how the tone of one’s writing can change from relatively intellectual (albeit petentious) to plain common depending on their intended message and their depth of feeling.

    If I’m not mistaken these are the random musings of “The Wild Mind” not the “Inane Ravings of a Jealous Suitor”. When you own this blog Kip, feel free to moderate to your heart’s content but until then I suggest that you attempt to keep your tempestuousness in check, and your blasphemy to yourself. When I want your opinion I’ll be sure to give it to you.


    1. Hot damn! That was a swift series of uppercuts to the torso there! Wonder if Kip will return the volley or is it a knockout in the first round?
      * The Wild Mind kicks back and shovels popcorn in her mouth while glancing around for the nearest bookie*


    2. Oh my goodness, or should I say, my Godness? I do believe I detect a sensitivity to my blasphemological incorrectness. Oh dear, and now I’m being pretentious! Or rather, ‘petentious,’ whatever that may be; perhaps something relating to pets? Probably just a Freudian slip, old boy, perfectly understandable in anyone with bestiality on his mind. You detected the shift in tone of my own writing, did you, PB? To the common? I’m so impressed you picked up on that. To pick up the irony as well would have been too much to expect. I may not be the moderator here, old chap (and I DO get the impression you’re getting up there in years), but as long as she who is the moderator sees fit to sanction my words (in the sense of approve–not proscribe–lest you get yourself tangled in the word’s inherent ambiguity), then I would propose you take and peddle your suggestions concerning tempestuousness and blasphemy elsewhere; because, lest you haven’t picked up on it, last I checked this was a free country and a blog managed by one who values freedom of expression; therefore (at the risk of working the poor semicolon to death), allow me to show you to the door, PB, and direct you back to a calmer and more peaceful realm, more suited to your delicate and infirm constitution, where perhaps there is organ music playing in the background and a few bloodied effigies hanging on crosses, and maybe a properly ordained authority standing by to instruct you on which words you may and may not utter. (And what was that scintillating parting volley of yours? When you want my opinion, you’ll be sure to give it to me? Not quite sure how you’ll give me my own opinion, but I’m happy to overlook the gaffe, old man, that sort of thing happens when the dottiness begins settting in.)

      Over and out, forever and ever, Amen.


      1. *The Wild Mind forgetting about the bookie, drops the popcorn and prepares to duck and cover lest the dueling pens knock each other out of the ring and right on top of where she is sitting.*
        Hmmmm, doesn’t look like a knockout quite yet. I’m hanging around to see where this goes!


      2. Huh?

        Please endulge me for one minute whilst I find my dictionary … again. Oh, and my thesaurus. And where did I put that Bible concordance? I don’t suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia but I find that the over use of big words diminishes my enjoyment of the reading material. All that referring to dictionaries and such.

        Ok Kip, I give. You’re obviously way to clever for me, my dictionary and even my thesaurus! None of us can define “blasphemological”.

        “Petty” is a word I understand though. Why one would want to point out a typing error when that person clearly comprehends the word in question smacks of it. Oh my, I just realised, it was meant as a personal attack! Well that’s just plain puerile (I stumbled across that gem when I was looking up immature and childish).

        If it’s all the same to you Kip, with the exception of the above, I’ll speak conversational English. You know, that “common” language most of us normal people speak. If you need any help with comprehension I’m sure CAB will be more than pleased to help out. Don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it. Practice makes perfect.

        Firstly a question. Was it my name that evoked your initial emotional outburst or something specific that I said?

        I’ve read and re-read my comment and unless you have an unhealthy aversion to popcorn I can’t for the life of me work out what could possibly have set you off. And please note that I did not cast aspersions on your person by suggesting that you did suffer from any kind of nutritiophobia. I was simply stating that my relatively limited education didn’t include telepathy. Consequently I’m unable to read your mind (brrrr, cold chill down my spine at the thought) and grasp your motivation.

        Why do you suggest that my parapraxis was of a sexual nature? A little bit of knowledge (in the wrong hands) is a dangerous thing. You see, that you read a sexual undertone into my typo actually says more about you than it does me. Contrary to popular belief a “Freudian Slip”, as you put it, does not refer to an unconscious “sexual” error in speech or action. As you seem to have plenty of spare time on your hands, an “assumption” based on the long windedness of your retorts, I’ll leave it to you to research that issue.

        Yes I detected the inferred “intentional” (sorry, can’t help but have a giggle) shift in tone but I read it for what it was. An irrational, emotional response to a perceived threat. To suggest otherwise is simply demeaning yourself. C’mon Buddy (I’m assuming you already consider me a friend) you’re not fooling anyone. Surely someone as obviously well rounded and self assured as yourself can do better than allowing your mouth to override your brain.

        To a contradiction. I’m slightly confused as to how you really perceive me. Am I an old “boy”, which suggests a mature youth, or an old “man” which suggests an even greater level of maturity? Surely you weren’t just being condescending. That would again be somewhat puerile (to use that word again, I think, is banal but it seems to fit your writing style and is therefore included to ensure your comprehension) and unnecessary.

        Unless you can speak or her behalf, whether or not our fair moderator sanctions your words is yet to be answered. The fact that she approves the inclusion of your comments on her blog does not in any way imply agreement with or endorsement of your views and to suggest otherwise is very presumptuous (one might even go so far as to say narcissistic!). That attitude as also evident in your view that, although this (and I assume you refer to the United States) is a free country your views and/or opinions are more worthy of posting than mine “… take and peddle your suggestions concerning tempestuousness and blasphemy elsewhere”. Why not here?
        It is, after all, a free country!

        Feel free to show me the door. Would you like to wager on the possibility of it actually opening? I’ll gladly wager one year of my gross salary against one year of yours that these comments are posted uncensored (oh wait, does that imply tacit approval of my opinions? Hmmmm, a quandary). Care to put your money where your mouth is or are you all bark and no bite? You talk the talk (boy do you talk the talk) now walk the walk! My winnings will contribute nicely to my holiday fund.

        My delicate and infirm constitution is managed nicely with medication. What’s your excuse?

        I find that retreating to a calm and peaceful realm is often very therapeutic and organ music soothes my nerves. May I suggest that you try it once in a while. It might go some way to relieving the tension you quite clearly feel when someone other than yourself attracts CAB’s attention.

        My parting volley was far from a gaffe. It was merely my way of pointing out that your opinion on this particular subject will have as much effect on me as, well, as mine will have on you! The only difference is that I recognise that fact. I doubt that your sense of self importance will allow you to admit the same to yourself.

        If I may join you down there (though the stooping does give my aching back a twinge of pain) I’ll finish in terms even you will understand. Kip, you are an insignificant little man who is not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a very different and worse way! However, you keep posting your comments, someday you’ll say something intelligent.


        1. *The Wild Mind spews popcorn from her mouth and falls to the floor in complete hysterics. After a moment, she suddenly stops the laughter and her ears perk up. Looking around curiously she asks…*

          Organ? Organ!!!!???? Did someone mention a therapeutic organ?


  4. I trust you can relax now, Cat. Undoubtedly, the interloper will conclude it’s best to remain silent and be thought a fool, rather than open his mouth (or blog entry) and remove all doubt.


    1. Ever heard the phrase, “I spoke too soon?” I don’t think this is quite finished yet. I have a sneaking feeling that what is going on here has less to do with foolishness and silence and more to do with time zones and schedules. You stay tuned and see. I’m going to.


    2. Kip,

      Once again I notice that your sense of self importance comes to the fore. As I read it CAB is very relaxed, almost euphoric! No indication of anxiety or nervousness. Whatever gives you the idea that she somehow needs rescuing? Or, more importantly, rescuing by you?!


  5. Dear lord, don’t tell me this is the guy you’re planning on meeting. If so, good luck with that. Can’t wait to hear about it.


    1. Kip,

      A friendly tip – A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind.

      Answer me this. Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion? Please remember that ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever! Or perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.


  6. Thank you, PB, for a delightful round of laughter to begin my day. I’m still smiling. It would seem we may actually be more alike than either of us would care to admit. While lambasting me for my highfalutin’ diction, you trot out plenty of your own. And you seem to have as much spare time as I do! Let me assure you there isn’t nor ever was any actual rancor beneath any of my words. Just having a bit of sport.

    Trust me, I can speak ‘commonly’ when I choose. But that’s not much fun. And let me assure you that I never had an ’emotional’ outburst … just a verbal one.

    (I just loved how the pedant in you couldn’t resist tutoring me on Freudianism, among other things.)

    I thank you for complimenting the uniqueness of my obnoxiousness. I would so hate to have been obnoxious in the same way as all the rest.

    No long-windedness this time. Gotta run, I’m afraid. Oh, and by the way, you ask what gives me the idea that CAB needs rescuing? Just how long have you been reading her blogs? How closely? If this woman isn’t yearning for a knight in shining armor to come along, then no woman is. And I don’t think she’ll take offense at my saying so. If you turn out to be that knight, then bully for you! Won’t be me, I’m afraid. I’m just a paper tiger, all roar and no teeth, and she knows it.



    1. Kip,
      Looks like I might be the long winded one today. 🙂
      While I certainly take no offense to your comment : “If this woman isn’t yearning for a knight in shining armor to come along, then no woman is”, I have to say it is a bit off the mark. In fact, it is widely so. It seems you’re the one who has not read my posts closely.
      While it is clearly the case that I would love nothing more than to be in a quality, fulfilling, committed relationship with a member of the opposite sex, it is completely in err to believe that I need or desire rescuing. Nor do I seek said relationship as a form of said rescue. Rescuing is irrelevant for me. Here’s why…

      If you have read my posts for the last year then you of all people would know these things:

      a. I have fairly (though not completely) discussed my middle aged post divorce journey. I somehow think I am not alone in this journey and others can and do relate.
      b. I have experienced painfully difficult times and have not been afraid to admit it. I somehow think I am also not alone here either.
      c. I have experienced a gamut of emotions and have not been afraid to admit these.
      d. I have experienced the fears of and possibilities of facing the rest of my life alone without a loving supporting partner, something, in spite of two marriages I have yet to experience. I’ve shared my doubts about whether or not that reality will ever transpire for me and I have not been ashamed to be honest about those feelings. I somehow think I am not alone on that score either. (While it might not happen for me, neither do I think my life will be any less exciting or rewarding if it does not. My life is already very exciting and rewarding..nothing like overcoming your fears and successfully overcoming the most difficult circumstances to give one confidence and a sense of adventure. The presence of a man to share that adventure would be an added bonus, it doesn’t make my life more or less fulfilling.)
      e. None of the previous, however, leads logically or conclusively to the determination that I either want or need rescuing. In fact, nothing is further from the truth.
      Let’s reveiw:
      In the last three years, I have:
      a. Sold a 21ft bayliner boat I purchased, drove, trailered and maintained on my own without hubby’s help or financial assistance. That boat paid down marital debt and retained an attorney. That insightful and forward thinking transaction done before any legal steps had been taken (oh, done alone by me, remember, the one who needs rescuing) helped me avoid bankruptcy, foreclosure on my home and pay the debts from my marriage, most of which were incurred in my name for the benefit of the ex and his children.
      b. I took courageous action to remove myself from a nightmare marriage thus making it possible for my children and I to experience the peace, safety, joy and returning prosperity that we now experience. I did all this without any help from a Knight in shining armor. I also fed four children on less than $300 a month for a year, without aid from social service organizations. I did get help one month from local church food pantries and I am incredibly grateful for that.
      c. I’ve paid off an inordinate amount of debt, again, most of which was not mine. I’ve done this all on my own. I’ve had some assistance from friends all of which I have either repaid or am currently repaying. This amounts to less than $1500 of all the financial obligations I’ve had.
      d. I’ve maintained and updated a 30-year-old home on a cash only teacher’s budget on my own.
      e. I finance and maintain, not one, but two vehicles. I can’t sell the SUV in this economy and the Toyota is required due to savings in petrol it provides.
      f. I clean and maintain a backyard swimming pool and a 7-person spa. The pool alone contains 10,000 gallons of water. I’ve never called for pool service. I also maintain my yard and lawns without a lawn service. I have a backyard that looks like a freaking park.
      g. I parent four children, am successfully employed in a professional career capacity with graduate level trainings and certifications and I fill several other leadership (read time and energy in return I get a little more money) positions.
      h. I own my own .38 special Colt police positive handgun and I know how to use it.
      i. I have a very full, active and absolutely packed social schedule. At any given time on any given weekend I could put my name on a dating site or let my friends know and I’d have at least four men (often more) stepping up to the plate to spend time with me. And I can and have had four different dates in two days on the weekend. I still am able to clean the house, get the laundry done, grocery shop, grade papers, and…yes…blog about all of it!
      j. I’ve kept my job, increased my earnings, avoided foreclosure, repossession and bankruptcy all while feeding, clothing and nurturing four children. One who will be attending a very reputable private university in the fall.
      k I’ve managed to work out two parenting schedules with two different ex’s so that most of the time all my children are here at the same time or gone at the same time.
      l. I work full time during the school year and still manage to have home cooked dinners each evening where we actually sit down at the table and have conversation.
      m. My house is always neat and tidy and isn’t a cesspool of human waste piling up from lack of care or regular routine cleaning. And, I don’t even have an automatic dishwasher!

      In the last decade, I’ve purchased a car and a home on my own with absolutely no help financially or otherwise from a Knight.

      Now, I must ask again, what on earth could I possibly need rescuing from first off? And this is where I get really confused…why on earth would I, of all people, given all I’ve already done for myself and my family and all I’ve been through in the last decade need a Knight to rescue me?

      It simply just doesn’t add up, Kip. There’s nothing about anything I’ve ever written or said that indicates I need rescuing.
      I’ve already rescued my children and I. I just want a wonderful man who will be someone I can talk to for long hours by the fire, who will empathize with my frustrations and encourage me to continue being the best me I can be. It is what I will do for him, after all.
      No, Kip. You’ve got me way wrong there.
      I don’t want a rescuer. I don’t need one either. I’ve accomplished more in the last three years than many do in a lifetime. There are very few men on this planet that can keep up with me. I’m not the one who needs rescuing. Nor do I want to rescue some incompetent person either. I’m not afraid of what the future might hold. I’m not worried because I know I will be okay.
      I want a lover and a friend.
      And that, I’m also not ashamed to admit.
      I somehow think, I’m not alone in that either.


  7. CAB –

    Your spirited defense of yourself, and itemized list, was hardly called for, but clearly you had things you wanted the world to know, admirable things, and there’s nothing wrong with that–it’s your blog. But I was not suggesting that you needed “rescuing” in the sense that you were not a capable adult, nor have I ever believed that. I apologize if I gave that impression. It was your other friend who first brought the word “rescuing” into play, and I should have ignored that baiting. All I had initially said was that you were waiting for a knight to come along. In your own words: “I just want a wonderful man who will be someone I can talk to for long hours by the fire, who will empathize with my frustrations and encourage me to continue being the best me I can be.” That is the knight I was referring to, and not someone I thought you needed because you were unable to manage your own life. So, I don’t think my comment was “off the mark,” and certainly not “widely so.”

    Your other comment: “There are very few men on this planet that can keep up with me” only goes to reinforce my other remark that most men would be inclined to “back away from their monitor” and flee to the nearest sports bar. You are a formidable presence, no question. Not a criticism, just an observation, a fact. You yourself have acknowledged that “very few men” could keep up with you; I’ve merely elaborated a bit further by suggesting that very few would be inclined to try … it would look too much like work. And a helluva lot of it, considering all the baggage that comes with you (sorry for the ugly sounding ‘baggage’ word, but hey, a spade is a spade).

    Finally, I would simply point out the manner in which PB has devolved to name calling, in the absence of any substantive rejoinders, which doesn’t bode well for any future that anyone may wish to have with this person. I myself have washed my hands of him, since I’ve evolved beyond the school playground, and would suggest you do likewise. He trots out some sesquipedalianism to show everyone he’s had some book learnin’ and then turns around and sticks his tongue out and cries: you’re stupid, you’re an idiot, you’re pretentious. Well, I can’t compete with that.

    Best of luck and happiness to you.


    1. Well, yes, Kip,
      It is my blog, after all. Thank you once again for reminding me. I’m not sure quite why you feel the need to remind me of that fact, since I am fully aware of it and you are the one who seems to forget that, but okay. Maybe you are trying to remind yourself of that fact, as it seems you keep trying to take over by suggesting what I ought to do or not do with my own blog and by insulting my other visitors.

      You did not say I was waiting for a “knight to come along”, you used the word rescuing. This logically begs the question, “from what?”. It also implies a weak neediness, something I believe you fully intended to imply. I again, since I did not receive an answer the first time, ask the question “from what exactly do I need rescuing and by whom?” Someone such as yourself? LOL! I think not. You haven’t the balls nor the character nor the work ethic according to your own admissions above.

      As for the word baggage, that is a pretty low blow and you know it. You intended harm there. Your true mean spirited character has just been revealed for the world to see. That comment was laced with all sorts of negativity, maliciousness and implication and intentionally so. It stung, but you intended it to pierce. You can’t even pretend you were joking about that or that you meant anything other than cruelty with that one. I get it. You’re a mean spirited, vicious little individual. That explains a lot.

      I find it absolutely laughable that you even bring up the baggage thing coming from one such as you who doesn’t even have the balls to authentically improve his own situation. At least I’ve had the courage to pull out the suitcases, sort through the baggage and toss the unecessary articles. The remaining items, those that cannot be discarded have been cleaned, ironed, neatly folded, and consolidated into one small bag. All that “baggage” you refer to has been carefully checked and there is no claim ticket. Shall I elaborate further here for all to read just how cowardly, mean spirited and hypocritical that statement was on your behalf? After all, I have plenty of data I could divulge. No, no need. It was pretty evident.

      I find it absolutely hilarious that you continue to speak about that which you know not. I mean, really, where do you get off suggesting you even have a clue about what single men are or are not willing to do, since you are not one of them and since you are not female and dating them. You “suggest” that relationship with me would be too much work and very few would be inclined to try….but you do not know this. And, quite frankly, I’m not going to even reveal specifically how in error you are about that statement though I could…in spades. Your statement is, in fact, not factually grounded but instead it is a statement based only in your own reality, which consists of what? What you hope? What your own loser friends who cheat on their wives/lovers think? What? It is certainly not the view of emotionally healthy, financially secure and legally available men looking for something authentic in terms of relationship!

      As for the name calling, I leave it to others more detail oriented than I to actually go back and search, but I believe you are the one who began with the name calling over at CABsPlace, and I believe you continue to do it even now, even to those who have never maligned you, so I’m not sure how you seem to have evolved from the playground as you boast you have. You still sound like the two-year-old who wants his lollipop and can’t have it. Sorry to use such an juvenile sounding illustration, but hey, a spade is a spade and clearly you are juvenile.

      And Kip, for what it is worth, I recognize that I have been a complete fuck up in relationships with two failed marriages and children from each and some diminishing debt to pay off. As such am probably in need of some very good advice about relationships and what to look for in a good one. I’ll own that. I will, however, obtain that advice either from fully trained and licensed counselors or emotionally healthy and mature friends who have at least dared to step out on the frightening journey through divorce and post divorce recovery in an attempt to halt the sham of an inauthentic, miserable, loveless and/or abusive marriage and who have actually succeeded in finding and maintaining a quality and rewarding and viable relationship. I might also seek this advice from those who have successfully maintained a healthy, rewarding, fulfilling relationship over several decades. You are none of these people therefore you haven’t the credentials to suggest to me what I should and should not do. You also do not have the credentials or the character to suggest who I do it with as you’ve clearly demonstrated today.

      Get the cork out of your butt, face your own reality, make it great, then come to the table with a bit more insight and a lot more humility…please! If you even knew what you were talking about it would be one thing, but you haven’t a clue, so till then quit picking fights with the other participants and me, be nice or shove off! It’s as easy as that.


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