Online Hose Suppliers

This transition from Spring to Summer has already been an interesting one.  I do have the pool operating a month earlier, in spite of the fact that I had several setbacks with sanitation, pumps, filters and faulty defective hoses.  That is now in the past and I currently have a terrific hose that seems to be working quite well for now.  But I never want to go through that experience again, so I’ve set about searching for a hose supplier who will keep me stocked up on the perfect hose.  Since there are no quality hose suppliers in my area, I’ve had to look for suppliers on the internet. Of course, when you do this online thing, it is always important to introduce yourself, state what you are looking for and what needs you hope the sought after item will meet.  I followed all these protocols perfectly and have been flooded with many interesting responses.  Most of them fakes, as they were exaggerating about the length, width, quality, durability and flexibility of their hoses.  In addition, they were charging far too much for the very minimal and routine functions the hoses were capable of.  I decided not to settle, since dealing with my current (make do) hose is working better than I think any of those hoses would work.  However, I would like a real hose with a longer warranty than the one I am currently using.

Something very interesting entered my inbox this afternoon.  Here is the note from the latest would be hose supplier:

Dear Ms. Wild Mind,

Further to your comments regarding hoses. I am pleased to report that one of the hoses in question has been tested and found to be functioning to the standard you require.

This type of hose requires constant care and attention. May I suggest that you adopt a regimen of ongoing maintenance even when you are not using the equipment. There are several products readily available which, when regularly applied, will ensure that the hose remains useable over an extended period and will delay the inevitable withering and consequent perishing.

Respectfully,

The Last Hose Supplier You’ll Ever Need

This seemed very interesting to me, so I responded with the following:

Dear Mr. Last,

I am very interested in learning more about your hose.  I would be especially interested in the regimen of maintenance you suggest as well as the products you supply to prevent the inevitable withering and perishing of the hose.  I am unavailable to discuss this now, but would be willing to discuss this at length later this evening should you so desire.  Of course, before purchase, I am wondering if there is an opportunity to discover exactly the functionality of the hose in question.  My last hose was guaranteed to last a lifetime and began faltering in its performance in less than six months in spite of excellent care, maintenance and frequent use. As the result of this experience, I want to be very certain what it is I am purchasing, as you can well understand, I am sure. I am certainly willing to invest should I find that one amazing hose.

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Respectfully,

Ms. Wild Mind

P.S. I am also well aware that every hose comes with a price tag.  I think it would be important to discuss the various costs of purchasing the hose earlier rather than later.  I would, of course, be interested in discussing sales price, taxes, shipping and handling fees and, of course, since we are dealing with an international transaction here, whether any customs costs or import/export fees exist. 

P.P.S.  I am perfectly able and more than willing to pay whatever rate is required for a hose of the type and quality I seek.  As you know many online hose suppliers are frauds and I would like every opportunity to discern that your hose is exactly as you say before signing a purchase agreement.

Hmmm, it will be interesting to see how this transaction turns out.