Yeah, it’s that month. The month of fools and I am one of the biggest. I know it.
The first part of the foolishness is the part where The Beau strung me along for months, all the while telling a girlfriend from his past about me but failing to tell me he was talking to her about me. He only tells me about her and how he “really” feels about her until after he’s met back up with her…after dating me for about two months and after being assured that he can woo her away from her fiance (ha!ha!) of five years. I had no information about the potential meet up or about the dialogues all along. Is something there really screwed? I mean, he was the one who promoted the “exclusive relationship” thing, not me…yet he was just unable to be exclusive…and he wonders why women leave him for other people. Hmmm, could it be that they also read that he is just not that into them?
Then there is the Friday night meet up that ended up with me meeting up with a guy that so misrepresented himself that I nearly walked out. I guess I’m too much of a Fool to do that. Or maybe…I’m enough of a Fool….
The “meet up” Friday night actually crossed paths with Monkey Sex Man, a guy I dated up with about a year and a half ago. He happened to be at the same place. He called me today. Left a message. I called him back. We talked at length. He point blank told me I deserved better than to be dating someone half my height who was wearing a baseball cap in a fairly upscale trendy pub in town. “I mean”, he said, “There are certain social expectations that a guy should be able to live up to.” Sadly, I tend to agree with Monkey Sex Man’s assessment. If the guy can’t float between completely casual and laid back to the appropriate attire for the occasion, I’m so not interested. I mean, after the “I do'” are said is it really going to get any better? I can just visualize the guy slurping beer sans shirt on the new couch and ordering me around. Sorry, been there, done that…or maybe I’m just an…
Message on my phone today from Monkey Sex Man. He wants me to call him back, so I do. We talk. He’s bitter about life and relationship for many reasons I understand. However, I think I’ve gotten to the place that I’ve accepted that the world is just this stupid fucking way and he has not gotten over the idealism that it just shouldn’t be that way. We talked for a couple of hours. It was nice. He off gassed some frustration. He’s far too sexually experienced and, if I may say so, arrogant. It will never go beyond friends. But it was nice to talk to another intelligent single person who is experiencing the same dilemmas here that I am. But maybe I’m just the biggest…
because I wonder. I wonder about male/female friendships. I wonder about respect and where it’s gone. I wonder about love, loyalty and wanting to hook your wagon to another’s star in hopes that both of you will reach your dreams. I wonder. Is it all possible or have we all just become a bunch of self-serving liars who only hope to get what they want out of life even if it means quashing someone else in the process?
are everywhere. Some of them are victims of misplaced trust or hope. Others are perpetrators of selfish scams. Which am I? One then the other, sometimes both? Which are you? Which do you choose to be? Why? And the best question yet, “How’s that working for you?” The next question is, “How’s that working for the others in your life?”
…seems there are so many of us out there.