Curtains rise, lights up full center stage spotlight on The Wild Mind who is dressed in tight jeans, flattering trendy top, pumps with stilletto heels, hair perfectly coifed and make up on. Cue happy music playing softly in the background. The Wild Mind addresses the audience.
I am really grateful that now there is complete closure not just with The Beau, but the I.J. (Yes, we had a “conversation” also in the last two weeks. I haven’t written about it because it was a little sad and I’ve been too busy writing and doing other things).
Dating is a different world now in Post-40 World than it was in Post-20 World. Okay, if it is still the same world it was back then, then I’ve been dealt a new hand and the cards suck in this one. Furthermore, when I was younger, I had more time to regroup the losses both emotionally and financially, I am not so young and not so cavalier about the consequences of poor choices.
I now know that one’s choice of a marital or romantic partner can affect your life forever, even long after they leave the scene.
It’s a high stakes game and I’m betting all or nothing on the best possibility for relationship, not just something that’s good enough or nice enough because I’m tired of being alone.
I am emotionally free from wondering if , maybe, when, how, what if anything will happen with The Beau or anyone else that is not knocking down my door or heating up my phone to connect with me. I just know it won’t happen for me with someone who is merely lukewarm.
Even if it doesn’t work out with the Old Flame and The Beau, what’s he going to do? Come back and knock on my door and say, “Hey, you’re the lucky first runner up. Old Flame couldn’t fullfil her pageant responsibilities. Want to give it a go?”
Thanks, but that’s not exactly how I see my fairy tale playing out. I don’t know how exactly how I do see it playing out, but I’m fairly certain that scenario is not on the list.
So, to take The Beau’s and many of my readers’ and friends’ advice and especially my sister’s (she’ll so love this!) I’m going to use this last episode with The Beau as more than just an experience to do some creative writing. I’m going to use it as an experience to reflect and further clarify for myself where I’m at and how I’m doing. Let’s see if I can do it in 10 points or less. Here we go.
The Points (not in any particular order):
- One’s choice of marital or romantic partner can affect the quality of the rest of your life. This is true on a minor scale with those you date. Choose wisely.
- The Wild Mind’s Love Philosophy still holds: When a man is into a woman there is no doubt: he knows, she knows and there is no obstacle too great to overcome in order to make it happen. He’ll find any way he can to get into her life, heart and, yes, pants. This includes picking up the phone and calling her or driving distances to see her. He won’t mind. He’ll actually want to do it.
- Some people out there in Dating World are completely unavailable but they masquerade as completely available. Do not believe this until proven.
- Emotional availability is proven by scaling tall obstacles or great distances unasked and without hesitation or groaning. It is also demonstrated a million other very creative ways all of which, every man knows capably how to execute, but won’t, unless you are the one he wants to be available for. If he’s not willing to prove availability in these ways, he’s just not that into you.
- Pay attention and trust your gut. Read point Number 2 and if you experience doubts then he’s just not that into being into you. 😀 Move on now. Don’t waste any more time.
- Men play just as many games as women. Don’t deny it. Some of these games are: “I Want Sex, But I’m Not Available For Any Serious Relationship, I’d Just Like To Make You Think I Am”, “I’m Bored With Nothing Better To Do, Come (yes, pun intended) Entertain Me”, “I’ll Play With You Till Something Better Comes Along” “I’m Completely Unavailable But Can’t Admit It”,and the final version, “Let’s Pretend” where he wants to pretend he’s really available so he can get sex or he’ll pretend he’s really into you even convincing himself he might be in hopes you will give him sex. The “Let’s Pretend” game is also played by those men who are hoping to get their mind off their own pain/loss/whatever for a while or by men who are married and won’t leave but can’t stay either.
- Women, do not go near these games! If you do, you do so at your own peril. Do not play the If…Maybe…What If?…Game. If you find out you are involved somehow in one of these games, get out yesterday. Don’t look back. You deserve better. You will also feel better. Take charge of your health, get out now!
- Being alone is still better than being in a relationship that is just okay or where you wonder all the time if he’s really all that into you. Stop the wonder. He’s not. Move on. (I so need to remember this one myself!)
- My Prince Charming (or Adventurous Pirate) is out there and some day, if and when we meet, I will be ready and willing for the raping/pillaging and plundering to ensue. (Okay…or for him to sweep me up on his magnificent steed time and time again until we are exhausted, then we’ll ride happily into the future together.) 😀
- Painting ceilings without a sprayer sucks. Don’t ever do it. Next time, I’m buying beer and pizza and putting an ad on Craigslist that reads, “Free beer and pizza in exchange for painting help!” It’ll be a lot more fun.
Lights out. Curtain falls.
The End, Yes, Finally, The End!!!!