I would never, could never fall in love with a leprechaun. Nope, I just couldn’t do it. There are so many reasons why.
Now granted, leprechauns are fun loving, mischievous souls and this is definitely a big plus in their favor as dating partners. I mean, all these men out there in online dating world who brag about how they “really know how to treat a lady” know nothing of fun compared to a leprechaun. They by very virtue of the lore are win at fun hands down. I mean the whole appearing, disappearing thing? What a turn on!
However, should the relationship become serious and get a little more physical, a lot more involved and maybe even have leanings toward some sort of exclusive arrangement then I begin to see all sorts of potetial problems.
First off, leprechauns are by nature small, little men. This already doesn’t work for me. I’m not a big woman, but I am tall. At 5′ 6″ I reach an impressive 5′ 9″ in heels. As nice, sweet, charming and fun as Mr. Leprechaun might be, it’s going to get really uncomfortable if I’m bending to my knees each time we kiss goodnight and I would hope that would be often( the kissing part, not the bending over part). Further, there is size to consider. I don’t want to go down this road very far, but suffice it to say, size matters. I mean, if I were to roll over in bed and quash the poor little dude, would I be strung up on homicide charges? 😀 (Yeah, forget getting on top.)
Another red flag is the fact that they are soooo mischievous. Again, tons of fun when everything is going well, but cross the little man and you could end up facing the house cleaning nightmare of a lifetime. It’s just a tad bit too coercive for me, and being a fairly strong-willed individual, I’d probably be in big trouble most of the time with a leprechaun.
I can see the scenario now. He demands I kiss his little teeny blarney stones, because he’s the leprechaun of the house and I refuse because he destroyed the house with all his merry making (and because they just don’t do it for me anymore but I won’t tell him that) and I have to get up the next day for work. He waits till I have every thing back in order and topsy turvies it all again. This would so not work for me!
In addition, while it is rumored that leprechauns have a secret stash hidden away who wants to live with all that tension? Even if you ended up with some of it in the divorce, it just wouldn’t be worth the wasted time and energy when you could be enjoying life with a normal guy who’s just tickled pink happy with sex and sammiches.
Which reminds me, I was going to write that post about sex and sammiches now wasn’t I?