Well, let’s see. How does a single 40-somethin’ woman talk about Valentine’s Day? I guess I could say I will end up getting at least 33 Valentines. Sadly, they will be from people far younger than I. All of them adore me and think the world of me, and I can’t really ask for much more than that.
However, in adult world, I will be sitting at home enjoying Valentines with a very special 8-year-old. Yeah, I did get invites out. More that one, that’d be plural. Actually worked really hard to try to find babysitting for the 8-year-old, but after about the 5th attempt, I decided, I simply didn’t want to try anymore. Now the person I am trying to get the babysitting arranged for will feel as though I am really not that into him and I will have to explain and if he understands that I just can’t feel good about leaving my sweet child with just any old stranger (I feel kinda weird leaving her anyway, stranger or no) then things will be fine. If he doesn’t understand, then I guess another one bites the dust. I’ve exhausted all my options and I just refuse to leave my child with someone she doesn’t know so I can go out and have dinner with a nice man and all his friends and their wives/girlfriends.
This is where it all feels bad. He’s not going to be able to go out with his friends and their significant others without being the odd man out. I’m not going to be able to go and feel good since all five of the folks I usually call on to babysit are unavailable, including my own two older children. On an adult level, in one way, probably one very minor and insignificant way, really, this just doesn’t feel good. I hate letting people down like this. It’s not likely he’s going to be aware of how difficult it really is to get a babysitter on Valentine’s Day and will likely view it as a cop out on my part, which it won’t be, but it won’t matter. When no familiar babysitters are available, I feel so much like I’m abandoning my child. I’ve paid for a babysitter for her once over the last year. I just don’t ever go out when my kids are with me. But…it is Valentine’s Day and, well….I should have known it was going to be the most difficult day of the year to arrange babsitting. Even if someone didn’t have plans, for them to admit it would be a bit like them admitting they are a loser and have no life (j/k).
No matter how hard it will be to call tomorrow and say, “Hey, I’m sorry it just isn’t going to work out, blah, blah, blah”, nothing is worth my little girl’s security and happiness. She’s absolutely my favorite Valentine. I won’t mind for a minute spending time with her. I only wish I’d remembered how difficult babysitters are to find on Valentine’s to begin with and said no before saying yes.