One of my friends spent her Winter Break in Mexico. I’m already jealous, aren’t you? While most of us in the Pacific Northwest were slogging away through some extreme form of precipitation, my friend was sunning herself in her size 2 bikini, blonde hair down to her butt, no, wait, past her butt and sipping dangerous concoctions oceanside near Porta Vai Somewhere In Mexico. She didn’t care. She wasn’t having to drive home.
This is her annual treat to herself and her family. Yes, I did say family. She and her husband and their two children go to Mexico every year at this time. Usually, the vacations are pretty standard, as vacations go. Four star luxury resort accomodations, sun, sand, surf, sex (I’m guessing, though she didn’t go into it with me, particularly. Ah, just as well). This year, things became a bit more exciting when said sexual exploits were rudely interrupted and her husband got in a fight.
Now, whereas my friend is small, her husband is quite tall and he’s not the skinny, shrimpy tall either. He’s a big, strong man. He is not, however, prone to fighting, nor is he what I’d call, a bruiser. He’s an easy going fun guy with a ready smile and a quick wit. He’s a very kind, considerate, friendly person, except when his wife is upset, then he gets upset because, as he says, “If she’s upset, I’m going to hear about it.”
When my friend mentioned that her husband got in a fight, I was all ears.
It turns out that they’d been on the go most of the vacation. You know, entertaining the kids and all. It was their first night there and both the kids crashed early, the place was quiet and they were feeling quite amorous. Do you blame them? For married couples on vacation with kids, it’s not often that both kids fall asleep while parents still have any energy left. Just as things started heating up, the phone rings. Annoyed, my friend’s husband answers the phone. A voice on the other end asks, “Is Mike there?” My friend’s husband’s name is not Mike, so he said, “No.” The voice on the other end laughed abrasively and hung up. My friends shrugged and resumed their activities. As things once again began heating up, the phone again interrupted the holiday celebration. The same conversation transpired. This intrusive caller continued to several other times, before finally leaving my two friends alone for the evening.
The next morning, very, very, very early before anyone was awake, my two friends were again enjoying the quiet before the children woke up when there came a knock on the door. Mexico Friend’s husband goes to the door, there is no one there. He shuts the door. A few minutes later they hear another knock. He answers the door. There is no one there. Now, it is very early in the morning. My friends are on vacation in paradise, the kids are out cold and they are being disturbed at ungodly hours by some prankster at the most inopportune times. They were both getting really annoyed. Apparently, Husband Of Mexico Friend was more than a bit annoyed.
This time he waited right by the door and the minute he heard the next knock he lunged out the door. He was just in time to see a big burly kid probably about middle school age go hightailing it around the edge of the building. Husband took off with Mexico Friend right behind him.
Husband, being the larger and faster of the two was able to catch up with the kid but not whithout slipping and sliding on the tile floors. The kid very nearly made it into his own room and had the door almost shut but Husband stopped the door with his foot breaking his toe in the process. This did nothing to diffuse Husband’s temper or lift his mood. Husband instead lifted the kid right out of his 4-star room and drug him back out into the hallway. Husband verbally taking the prankster to task. As I mentioned before, Mexico Friend’s Husband is a big man. While he appears fun loving and gentle anytime I’ve ever seen him, I certainly wouldn’t want to get on his bad side. He could be somewhat intimidating when provoked, I think. I’m thinking the middle school student thought so too. He was shaking like a leaf and white as a ghost.
Well, the tonguelashing caused quite a disturbance and it wasn’t long before others in the vicinity peeked out of their rooms to see what was going on. Soon a bit of a crowd had gathered. Apparently, the parents of said teen were out partying and had left him on his own. Out of boredom he decided to have some fun. Mexico Friend had followed her husband because she thought he might need some support. I have no idea what she thought she might do to help.
Soon, things calmed down a bit and Mexico Friend’s husband ended his tirade. Relatives of the punk showed up, promised they’d address the behavior with the kid and just as everyone was beginning to disperse, Husband looked over at his wife and couldn’t believe what he saw. In the wee hours of the morning, with very little time to plan, they’d both bolted out the door with little thought as to their appearance. There stood his beautiful wife surrounded by a crowd of gawking onlookers, long blonde hair tousled and all 100 pounds of her (if she’s even that) clad only in a thin see through tank top and panties. White and transparent to be exact. Knowing my friend as I do, I’m most certain these were not the grandma type briefs that my mother used to wear (sorry, mom) nor were they even boy shorts. I’m thinking her attire left little to the imagination and my friend is not, at least as far as I know, an exhibitionist. She must have been mortified.
Mexico Friend and her husband made it back to the states safely. Fortunately, there was no Mexican jail time for either of them. She told me this story in person today as she gave me a beautiful hand-crafted Mexican poinsettia Christmas ornament as a souvenir. Each year as I pull this lovely ornament out of it’s tissue and place it on my tree I will remember this humorous tale of what must have been a very embarrassing but humorous moment for Mexico Friend. I will chuckle, smile and think fondly of my friend and her family and wish them many more wonderful and far less eventful vacations in the future.