I will be the first to admit that I have no idea what the male experience is like in approaching members of the opposite sex cold, but it is nice to know (judging from the topics and comments on this blog) that men appear to be just as uncertain about the whole process as women are.
Now, there are a lot of sites out there that give men tips and pointers for meeting women, initiating conversation with women you don’t know, picking up women, and quite frankly, the topics go from being really quality and insightful about how just to be a more confident, outgoing person to just being nice enough for just long enough to hook up for a few hours.
As a female, who is pretty good at meeting guys and who really never lacks for dates unless I choose to spend the time alone (which admittedly I do on occasion, though not lately), I must admit I can’t tell if a guy is sincerely looking to develop something for the longer haul or if he is just looking for a one night stand. Well, clearly if we’re at a bar and he comes on really strong and he’s clearly been drinking and he asks to take me home, chances are pretty good he’s hoping to get some and I’m not giving.
Otherwise, beyond the clearly obvious and outrageous, both approaches look the same to me. Now, I don’t do one night stands so I honestly can’t tell you if both approaches end the same. If a guy is lucky and we’ve developed a friendship, of sorts, in advance, he might get a hug goodnight on the first date. I know, I’m really old school. So, as far as comparing the two approaches, if there are two separate approaches, I can only imagine that one approach ends in silence or quasi-silence and the other does not. But how can a woman know before she has to experience the “end” to know it was a bad deal for her from the beginning?
I wonder, is a man’s behavior when meeting a woman for the first time different when he’s hoping to find a long term relationship than it is when he’s just looking for a one night stand? Is there any way a woman can know in advance that she’s just being played as the casual fling or not?
My guess is women should just say no. If he calls again, and again, and again…he’s really into you. If not, you have your answer. Is there any other way to know?