It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times

Music can take me places.  I’m sure you know how that is.  You’re minding your own business and suddenly a song comes on that you haven’t heard in ages and then suddenly you are transported.  You’re completely removed from the present to a different time and place, a world ago, a lifetime ago.  You can smell the smells, feel the feelings and suddenly you are awash in memories like you never left that time or place.  Music transports you.  It transport me.  I was just transported.

I have music all over my house.  I have a small house and don’t have a surround sound, piped in, fancy system like some have.  I do like to “feel” my music. Even as I write this, I have my little 5 CD changer in the kitchen (I have one in nearly every room)  turned up to some ghastly number on the volume dial.  I can feel the reverberations.  But, today, a particular song transported me, and it just came on again and it’s transporting me…again. 

The time was not so long ago.  About this time last year, if my memory serves me well.  The song is K.T. Tunstall’s “Heal Over”.  The events in my life at that time were best described by Charles Dickens in his famous book, “A Tale of Two Cities”.  For me…that time of my life was truly, “the best of times, it was the worst of times”.  I’d left my second husband for the final time.  Divorce proceedings were in process.  It was going to happen.  As a person who walked into marriage the first time with the high fairy tale hopes of “till death do us part”, having to end a second marriage was a devastating blow.  I was in the midst of dealing with that reality and moving back into a house that my ex and his 7 children had just vacated.  And when I mean vacated, I mean vacated.  They took with them things I will be paying for, for many years to come. Things that were purchased at Christmases and birthdays for my children, not his.  And I was left with a house that was little more than a wreck. (No, I’m not bitter or anything.  LOL!) I was embroiled in a battle that had every potential to get very ugly and I was very scared.  It was very possible that I could end up homeless and in debt and, because I had no way to provide for my children, I was afraid I might lose them.  It was the worst of times.

But…it was also the very best of times.  While I was out of my house because I had to leave under police escort to protect myself against a volatile spouse and get what I could in the 20 minutes they allow, I was able to see and experience the goodness and love of friends that I might never have otherwise experienced or known.  I had friends offer me their travel trailer so my youngest and I would have a place to stay for a month while we finished out the school year.  I had other friends offer me a housesitting job while they went vacationing.  That got me through the month, and to the court hearing where I was awarded the house and full custody of my youngest daughter.  And in the background of all of this, K.T. Tunstall’s song, “Heal Over” was playing.  Playing. Playing.  Reminding me of what my mother always used to tell me, “This, too, shall pass.”  And…it did.

I ended up being awarded my house, my ex disappeared rather than creating a crazy scene, I did get all the marital debt but I have my home and don’t have to move four kids out to a rental and worry when I will get 30 days notice so they can put the house up on the market.  I’m safe.  My children are safe and all the fears I had at this time last year have dissipated into nothingness.  But that song, that particular song, takes me back.  It takes me back to a time of uncertainty and transition.  It takes me back to a painfully difficult time of learning to parent on my own, and of learning what it means to be a homeowner.  It takes me back to hot, sweaty days of having to repaint, repair, clean out, fumigate, and scrub, scrub, scrub every surface and cabinet to make my home clean and liveable for my kids and I. I takes me back to spending a month trying to figure out how to clean out a pool, finally having to drain it completely and start over.  It takes me back to days, when filled with fear and uncertainty myself, I had to be strong and hopeful and positive for my children.  It takes me back to days, where we pulled together, attempted things we didn’t possibly think we could handle in a million years, and we did more than just handle them and we did them well! 

That song takes me back.  Heal over?  You bet I’ll heal over.  Make no mistake about it.  

It was the best of times and the worst of times but, funny thing, all I have are good memories.

4 thoughts on “It Was The Best of Times, It Was The Worst of Times

  1. From Billy
    Who is responsible for sin, you or the devil? I was pondering this question and brought it to the Lord in prayer, and He brought my mind to Genesis 3 v 13. “And the Lord God said unto the woman, what is this thou hast done?” And the woman said, “the serpent beguiled me, and I did eat,” —— READ MORE AT
    cornishevangelist.wordpress.com
    EVANGELIST BILLY BOLITHO
    http://www.evangelistbillybolitho.blogspot.com

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  2. Hi Billy,
    I’m not sure how your comment relates to my post exactly since I wasn’t addressing the existence, nature or responsibility for sin. I was just sharing my experience. I guess I’ll have to go read your blog to find out…or maybe you could clarify it for me in a further comment.
    Thanks for commenting though.
    Cat

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  3. Dear Sister, God did say do not sin but we do, but we thank JESUS for His Blood that washes us whiter then wool.

    God bless you always in JESUS.

    No Condemnation

    “There is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”{Romans 8 v 1}.

    Are you walking in the Spirit? Or are you still trying to serve God by your own will and in your own strength? Which is flesh, for if you do, you will be continually under condemnation, for it is impossible for you to stop your flesh from sinning.

    Paul the Apostle said, that he delighted in the law of God, but he still found himself continually sinning, he said that it was like a war going on within himself, he cried, “Oh, wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this body of death? I thank God through Christ Jesus our Lord,” {Romans 7 v 24:25}

    Paul had to keep reminding himself to think spiritually, which resulted in life and peace, but to think that he could do anything in his own power and strength would result in complete failure every time.

    Therefore he had to accept, as we all do that the Holy Spirit that raised up Jesus from the dead is the same God that dwells in us all, and He will give us the power to resist temptation. For only God has the power, for we in our own strength will always fail.

    So, let us remind ourselves that Jesus is our righteousness, “Therefore being justified by faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,” {Romans 5 v 1}.

    For only His victory on the cross and resurrection and His ascension into the Holies of Holies, which is in heaven, makes it possible for us to live and walk in the Spirit.

    So if you sin because your flesh is weak, do not live under condemnation, instead repent. Do you remember Jesus teachings on repentance and deliverance?

    If you sin seven times in a day, and turn and repent, God will forgive you, and you will never have to be under condemnation again. Praise be to our wonderful Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

    We must always remember that Jesus victory is our victory. God see’s us as righteous, justified and holy, through the shed blood of Jesus.

    Although your flesh continues to fail you, it still does not change the fact that in Christ Jesus you are His child, and that the only thing that can separate you from God is unconfessed sin.

    So, it goes without saying that if you continually repent, and rely on His power alone to stop you from sinning, you will be able to walk and live in the Spirit, and sin will have no dominion over you, praise God.

    “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, {1John 1 v 9}.

    Wash me, Oh Lamb of God, wash me from sin! I long to be like thee all pure within.

    Now let the crimson tide, shed from thy wounded side, be to my heart applied, and make me clean. Thou, while I trust in thee, wilt keep me clean, each day to thee I bring. Heart, life, yea, everything; saved, while to thee I cling, saved from all sin.

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  4. thank you so much for sharing. i clearly see warmth and good in you from reading this post. yes, music moves us, music heal us. on the physical level that’s the vibration/energy that affects your energy. on the mental level… well… affects us in all kinds of different ways. Bob Marley said “one good thing about music, when it hits you fell no pain”. my favorite musician sang, “if you get confused, listen to the music play,” and “without love in the dream it will never come true.” some cheesy, but with memories you can never shake. some hard and grungy, but we admit that we do see some truth in it. i love it. dancing to music is yet another healing. nobody tells you how to move, but you move the way you and your body want to, perhaps have to. some songs are forever soundtrack of our lives. each of us is different. and it’s all beautiful in the end. with respect, kamuy

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