Gads! I hate people who make broad, random, sweeping generalizations. I say that, recognizing that I am just as guilty of this crime as the next guy. The only difference between me and the next guy is that I am aware that I am doing it and the next guy isn’t (how’s that for a random, sweeping generalization?). Sigh.
“All women feel guilty after sex.”
Now, ladies, before you laugh so hard you require surgery or a change of underwear, let me tell you that this is a statement I actually heard from someone within the last week. He was serious. He was also very, very drunk. Drunk or not, I believe that he believes that this is really reality. I should so recommend a few of my single mom bloggy friends to him to read. He’d learn a very different perspective very quickly. Most women in Single Momdom are adults…and we make our decisons, for the most part as adults…not as inexperienced teenagers struggling over the loss of our virginity or purity. For that matter, I should also recommend a few of my single dad bloggy friends to him to read. He’d learn very quickly that the women they are meeting and dating (and there are many out there) are not a bit guilt ridden over a good time between the sheets with a man they are attracted to. Disappointed, maybe, if the relationship doesn’t progress, however, guilt ridden? I so think not! This person is clearly out of touch with the reality of most women his age. I believe that his is what he hopes is the case, not what is really the case. But anyway…
“Any woman could go grocery shopping at (insert the name of your own local bag-your-own grocery store here) and get 5 guys in an instant who would go out with her.” Same drunk redneck, making this generalization as made the first one. Now, the first one, I know is not true. I know this because I am a woman and I don’t feel guilty after sex. (Okay, admittedly there are times I’ve been disillusioned, even horrified, but let’s be clear disillusionment and horror are not the same emotion as guilt.) Even one person not feeling guilty makes his generalization invalid. Easy generalization to disprove.
This second one however, is trickier to disprove because it actually requires some research and data collection. So, in the interests of integrity and wiping out all falsehood and kicking random, sweeping generalizations on their butts, I went to the local bag-your-own grocery store and did my own research.
My inquiry statement was, “Can all women grocery shopping at this store get 5 guys in an instant who would go out with her?” Okay, remember, it takes only one to dispell this generalization and I chose myself as the one control group specimen.
Here is what I observed.
But first, some background. The excursion was an end of the month quick grocery run with my son to pick up milk, English muffins and a cheap, cheap bottle of white wine. (Yes, it has been a stressful back-to-school season. I’m celebrating the fact that I’m not only alive at this point, but that things actually seem to be settling into a routine. Woot! Woot! for me!)
Seriously? Five men that would go out with me?
Okay, I’m attractive and all, but really? Five men who would jump my bones in an instant if given the chance? Easier said than done. Here’s why. They simply wouldn’t want the chance, nor would they be given the chance. This is what I saw.
Of the 87.6 men that I saw 50.4 of them were wearing a gold band on the third finger of the left hand indicating that they were either emotionally or legally unavailble. Not a go.
Of the 37.2 remaining men, 10.2 were male children under the age of ten. I simply dont’ think so, sorry.
Of the 27 remaining, 14 of them were there with another woman roughly about their own age. Seriously? If they even tried to come on to me their male organs would be served to them for dinner that night guaranteed. Not going to happen.
Of the the thirteen men now remaining, and…yes…I am using the term “men” loosely…6 of them were clearly residents of the local assisted care facility. Sorry, but no can do. Spent my childhood caring for the elderly and infirm, don’t want to do that anymore. Even if I was interested, I’m not sure they’d remember where they last left the Viagra. Next.
5 of the remaining seven men were 20-somethings who were there helping their elderly and infirm mothers grocery shop. I’m not a cougar and they didn’t look once in my direction, let alone twice so it’s all good. No go there.
The final two men, of the original, 87.6 were clearly in a relationship with each other and nothing I could do was going to persuade them otherwise.
So, I just went to said grocery store, checked out the availability, found none. Voila! Said generalization is on its derriere! Humph! I really hate random, broad generalizations from randomly, generally stupid people. They can be disproven almost every time.
In the end, every good research project ends with some observations and conclusions and suggestions for further research.
This particular research project seems to indicate that this particular random generalization of a drunk man who is barely old enough to tie his own shoes is completely unfounded. Just because he’d jump anyone at the local bag-your-own doesn’t mean everyone would or that everyone would want to jump anyone and everyone that crossed their path.
Next. Finding good relationship is easier said than done. This is the major suggestion for further research. Just what exactly does it take for two people to hit it off, make it work far beyond the level of mediocrity and also make it work over the long haul? These are the questions that were not addressed in this study, which certainly deserve some serious consideration.
Anyone up for this?