The Good With The Bad…For Lack of a Better Title

I guess I’m living life in all its reality.  I mean, crap is happening…see my most recent post before this one about the drains in my house.  And the sewer incident was preceeded by my car blowing it’s engine this summer, which was preceeded by a year of trauma with cars, including the rear differential of my 4×4 dropping right out onto the street sometime just before Christmas of last year.  Due to my divorce a year ago…well…almost a year ago, finances have been tighter than I’ve ever known in my entire adult life.  Debt is gradually and consistently getting paid off, and I know I won’t be in this place forever, but because I have no wiggle room, it is nothing short of a crisis when things outside the budget occur.  So, that segment of my life is not the happy part of my reality. 

Along with all the stress associated with having to live so very spartan-like and not having the money for extras of any kind…heck, I don’t even have the money for some of the essentials, at times…life has its joyous elements and moments.  These moments splattered the crappy colors of my otherwise dismal financial reality with hope, energy, love and life. 

For example, due to the dismal situation with my drains, I had to call my first ex to take my three oldest children.  This resulted in them being gone for an entire week which was sad and very disappointing.  On the up side, though, it gave me some concentrated time with my youngest.  She slept with me every night and we were able to spend some fun time together in the evenings in spite of me having to complete some extra projects for work.  This was a very happy result of a somewhat stinky situation.

I also mentioned the plumber coming over and bringing dinner and drinks.  That ended up being very fun, and while it is still too soon to tell anything, he is definitely a decent man with a bit of heart and character to him.  And, he doesn’t have a problem communicating about himself or his thoughts…and even better than that…it appears he is capable of taking responsibility for his actions.  He’s continued to call me, we’ve gotten together one other time since the drain date, and while I’m not holding my breath, I think he will, at least, be a good friend if romance or reality doesn’t completely destroy us first. 

Finally, while I’m working some insane hours because I have about three extra projects I agreed to take on (no I’m not getting paid…yes, I am networking and padding my resume), I am loving every minute.  My students and I have this incredibly positive dynamic going in the classroom, the two other teachers I work with at my grade level are wonderful!  It helps that they are men.  There is no PMS-ing and the stress due to my colleagues having to have every little thing nailed down and signed in blood is completely gone. These two guys are nowhere near the definition of “control freak”.  If I screw up the world doesn’t end, if they need to adjust something I’m way relaxed and able to flex with it.  It soooo works for us…and it works for the kids too.  I enjoyed working with my old team and my other grade level…but…there were points where it was toxic.  Add to that the fact that I could have gone to grade level meetings for years (and did) and never have said one word and no one would have asked my opinion about anything, nor would they have cared.  That is not the case with my current team.  I contribute and they respect it.  I like that.  Plus, I really like the fact that they don’t PMS…

Living life in all its reality.  The good with the bad.  The tough times laced and threaded with really happy, nearly hysterically funny moments.  Moments like the writing session I had this week where a student announced that he was going to share his writing on “How To Kiss a Girl” and I told him and the class, “Wait!  First of all, I hope this will be rated G and in good taste.”  Hmmm, that was almost as bad as the time in my first year of teaching when at the end of the P.E. session I instructed the students to “Hold your balls!” Not so good….but very funny!  The kissing writing ended up being very sweet and very entertaining.  My kids are not afraid to laugh and enjoy our class.  This pleases me, no matter how backed up my drains are. 

The good with the bad.  Three of my kids had to live elsewhere this week and I missed them, but my second oldest got into the choir she tried out for as well as making it into the advanced drama class she auditioned for.  My oldest passed her written driver’s test with flying colors but failed the driving portion.  She’s taking it well and in 28 more days will be trying again.  My son is in cross country and the change to middle school is working very well for him, even though he still hates doing yard work.  At least I’m not having to harp on him about homework.  He does it gladly these days.  I can’t tell you how relieved I am.  One man who expresses interest in getting to know me, goes silent, two more step in to take his place.  The good with the bad. The bad with the good.  Life in all its reality.  It is never totally and completely a perfect fairy tale is it?

Out of the Clear Blue…No, Out of the Clogged Sewer!

You are never going to believe this!  My sewer backed up again.  You know, the ugly time when you are just doing your business, then you go to flush your business and the water level in the toilet bowl, instead of going down, rises, rises, rises and slops over onto your bathroom floor.  Ick!!!!  Well, that was my wonderful weekend.  It also happened to be a weekend that I was suffering from some kind of Montezuma’s Revenge either from stress or poor diet…or maybe both.  Anyway, this was not a fun experience.  Then to see it not only overflow onto  my bathroom floor, but to back up into my shower and my bathtub in the other bathroom, well, it was a bit much.  Of course, all this happened after I paid all the bills online and didn’t have enough to pay a plumber without overdrafting my account.  Sigh.  Such has been my year. 

So, I call the plumbing company I usually call. I know the problem is roots growing into the drainage system. I know exactly where the cleanout is.  I have an older home, this happens every year.  My ex used to just take the snake and deal with it but he’s not here so now I pay to get that taken care of, because I’m not strong enough to handle the equipment on my own and I’m not even sure what I’d need.  Well, you won’t believe this but…

…the plumber is coming over with tri-tip steaks and two bottles of Merlot!!!!  LOL! 

Life can be hysterically funny at times!

Is It True?

This weekend I watched “Sleepless In Seattle” again.  The line, “The odds are better that you will experience a terrorist attack, than that you will find romance over 40″ was stated several times.

Is it true????????????????????????????????????

Peeved about the Plumbing

I’m in the process of reading Upton Sinclair’s book, The Jungle, about the Chicago meat packing industry.  Jargis, the main character, heads to America to make his fortune and is met with misfortune after misfortune after misfortune.  He seems to survive but just barely and gradually becomes the worse for the wear.  He ultimately falls in with what Sinclair dubs as “high class criminals” and things get better for him but only because he resorts to criminal acts. 

I once heard it said that it was not money that corrupts, but poverty. 

I have not had a happy experience reading Sinclair’s book.  But at the same time, I’ve been immensely relieved reading this book.

It is depressing, nothing goes right, the people Jargis love all die and he has to give up his morality and decency to survive. 

His struggles mirror my own over the last year and a half all too closely.  At the same time, this book  descriptively elaborates for me that not only could my situation be far worse, it describes in painful detail just exactly how much worse and in what ways. 

After two really poor marital choices, I am in the same boat many people my age are.  I’m over 40, single and reeling financially from a divorce that left me with more month at the end of my money than I care to experience.  I own my house, but I couldn’t sell it for what I owe.  It is a real fixer and needs more work done to maintain it than I can afford right now, and not being handy, the task of learning to do any of it myself is nothing short of overwhelming and terrifying.  Of course, tonight the drains backed up as they usually do at this time of the year because of roots growing into the drainage pipes. I can’t call the plumber because it would be extra charges and I just paid all the bills and there isn’t enough left over anyway.  Hmmm, which bills do I pay late on now?  This last year and a half has felt like one onslaught of financial disaster after another and with four children at home, it isn’t like I can get a second job in the evenings. It’s been a tough year. In many ways, I feel the hopelessness of Jargis, working and working and falling further and further behind.

On the other hand, my experience is vastly different than Jargis’ and I am grateful.  I haven’t had any of my children die.  I get paid pretty decent wages, which, as the debts get paid off will become more than they seem to be now. And, unlike Jargis, I am making progress in a positive direction, just not as quickly or painlessly as I would otherwise wish.  I’m not transplanted to another country where I don’t know the language and the rules of the society.  I enjoy my job and do not have to do dull labor day in and day out. I do own my own home and don’t have to worry when a landlord will evict me because they want to sell their home.  I am able to make my payments and foreclosure is not a reality for me, like it is for so many others across the country in these discouraging economic times.  My experience is nowhere near Jargis’ on so many levels and as I read this book, I am more and more appreciative of the times I live in and the fact that I really do have so much. 

I’m still really peeved that the drains backed up tonight. 

I wonder if, when I look back on this period of my life, I will remember it as Dickens said, “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” ?

Writing, Posting, Blogging…Blah!

I love writing.  I hate feeling like I suck at it. 

I especially hate it when I am so sad or upset by things, events, relationships that anything I write sounds like I’m whining.

That’s where I am tonight.  So I won’t write.  At least not much.